Oh, Taste and See…

For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost, And have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come, If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame. For the earth which drinketh in the rain that cometh oft upon it, and bringeth forth herbs meet for them by whom it is dressed, receiveth blessing from God: But that which beareth thorns and briers is rejected, and is nigh unto cursing; whose end is to be burned. But, beloved, we are persuaded better things of you, and things that accompany salvation, though we thus speak. For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love, which ye have shewed toward his name, in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister. And we desire that every one of you do shew the same diligence to the full assurance of hope unto the end: That ye be not slothful, but followers of them who through faith and patience inherit the promises. For when God made promise to Abraham, because he could swear by no greater, he sware by himself, Saying, Surely blessing I will bless thee, and multiplying I will multiply thee. And so, after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise. For men verily swear by the greater: and an oath for confirmation is to them an end of all strife. Wherein God, willing more abundantly to shew unto the heirs of promise the immutability of his counsel, confirmed it by an oath: That by two immutable things, in which it was impossible for God to lie, we might have a strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold upon the hope set before us: Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast, and which entereth into that within the veil; Whither the forerunner is for us entered, even Jesus, made an high priest for ever after the order of Melchisedec.
Hebrews 6:4‭-‬20 KJV

http://bible.com/1/heb.6.4-20.KJV

What She Didn’t Do, Today. 

She didn’t give “legs” to the walking pain in her forehead.

She didn’t acknowledge the multiple times she lost the feeling in her left foot. 

She didn’t take time to cry the tears that threatened to breach the dam of her vocal chords. 

She didn’t hesitate to sway those hips, one of them bone-on-bone.

(click, click, click- not her shoe heels)

She didn’t even fall, when the pavement invited her to do so. 

She didn’t recognize she had been holding her breath, for fear of screaming. 

She didn’t care. 

She didn’t falter. 

She didn’t fail. 

She didn’t stop. 

Today

​It was at this hour, on this day, three years ago, that I made my way to Gilchrist Hospice. It was cold out. I was numb-for other reasons. I drove a slow, and steadied pace, my mind literally devoid of thought. Traffic lights,  street lamps, other cars, pedestrians… I saw nothing. Truly,  the Holy Spirit drove, as I only remember seeing my Niece in the parking lot, distraught, and saying to her, “Is she gone?”

I walked inside to family, to friends and stood, feeling as if I were made of air; that I would just take flight, at any moment. I hugged, and was hugged in return. Nothing. I lumbered down the hall, body sick, and heavy with the pain and swelling of Fibromyalgia, at its WORST. I wanted to run. I wanted to prove that I was right. She was sleeping. They’d made a mistake. 

I stood outside of the door for what seemed an eternity; waiting, wondering if I could go in, hoping that last hope.

Oh, the things I’ve asked God for in this lifetime. Clothes, houses ,money, better jobs,  a good man, friends, good grades, not to get beat up in elementary school (😀it’s okay to laugh), restoration of health-that my Mother would live forever, because I was simply not strong, or smart enough to be without her. For 45 years, eleven months, 364 days, 23 hours, and 42 minutes, she was MINE. Earthly, beautifully, wonderfully, lovingly MINE!

However,  before the hills in order stood, in the beginning,  before stars were placed in the Sky,  even now, she belonged to God first, and always. And so I went in. 
To say I miss my mother is hollow.  There are no words to describe the cold place in me never to be warm again. The sound of her laughter, and her smile that lit the space around her like a million suns, that look when you knew you were getting ready to get it. The softness of her hands- those hands that held my own, rubbed away my pains, anointed me (crown to sole), whipped my butt, fed me, touched my head to check for fever; hands that were put together in prayer for me. Never again will I touch those hands, I thought. 
God is amazing. You see, all those years, the enemy tried to take my Mother’s life. God Said,  “it’s not yours to take”.  I am eternally grateful. For her LIFE was rife with pain,  illness, troubles. SHE was FULL of the love of God, laughter, wisdom, grace, beauty, unending love for family,  friends,  and all who came into her presence, for whatever time they were there. A minute. A day. A month. Years.  A lifetime. It didn’t matter. She loved you. 

My heart is heavy, as I think of how God physically joined us on 10/29, and He physically separated us on 10/27. Might sound weird,  but to this day,  I wish he had taken her on 10/29, at 7:02 am. I was born at 7:01 am, and she had NEVER missed a birthday without us speaking at that moment. That’s just me, and my selfishness, not recognizing God’s omniscience. He probably knew I’d never, ever get over that. He knew when to bring her home. 

So, here I am, Prettyface-Mommiekins, reading the Word, asking God to show me, and of course, He did. Gave me a song, too. The Word is Ecclesiastes 3:
It was at this hour, on this day, three years ago, that I made my way to Gilchrist Hospice. It was cold out. I was numb-for other reasons. I drove a slow, and steadied pace, my mind literally devoid of thought. Traffic lights,  street lamps, other cars, pedestrians… I saw nothing. Truly,  the Holy Spirit drove, as I only remember seeing my Niece in the parking lot, distraught, and saying,  “Is she gone?”

I walked inside to family, to friends and stood, feeling as if I were made of air; that I would just take flight, at any moment. I hugged, and was hugged in return. Nothing. I lumbered down the hall, body sick and heavy  with the pain, and swelling of Fibromyalgia, at its WORST. I wanted to run. I wanted to prove that I was right. She was sleeping. They’d made a mistake. 

I stood outside of the door for what seemed an eternity; waiting, wondering if I could go in, hoping that last hope

Oh,  the things I’ve asked God for in this lifetime. Clothes,  money,  jobs,  friends, good grades, not to get best up in elementary school (😀it’s okay to laugh), restoration of health-that my Mother would live forever, because I was simply not strong, or smart enough to be without her. For 45 years, eleven months, 364 days, 23 hours, and 42 minutes, she was MINE. Earthly, beautifully, wonderfully, lovingly MINE!

Before the hills in order stood, in the beginning,  before stars were placed in the Sky,  even now she belonged to God. And so I went in. 
To say I miss my mother is hollow.  There are no words to describe the cold place in me  never to be warm again. The sound of her laughter, and her smile that lit light a million suns, that look when you knew you were getting ready to get it. The softness of her hands- those hands that held my own, rubbed away my pains, anointed me (crown to sole), whipped my butt, fed me, touched my head to check for fever; hands that were put together in prayer for me. Never again will touch this hands,  I thought. 

God is amazing. You see, all those years, the enemy tried to take my Mother’s life. God Said,  “it’s not yours to take”.  I am eternally grateful. For her LIFE was rife with pain,  illness, troubles. SHE was FULL of the love of God, laughter, wisdom, grace, beauty, unending love for family,  friends,  and all who came into her presence, for whatever time they were there. A minute. A day.  A month. Years.  A lifetime. It didn’t matter. She loved you. 

My heart is heavy, as I think of how God physically joined us on 10/29, and He physically separated us on 10/27. Might sound weird,  but to this day,  I wish he had taken her on 10/29, at 7:02 am. I was born at 7:01 am, and she had NEVER missed a birthday workout is speaking at that moment. That’s just me, and my selfishness, not recognizing God’s omniscience. He probably knew I’d never, ever get over that. 

So, here I am, Prettyface-Mommiekins, reading the Word, asking God to show me, and of course, He did. Gave me a song, too. The Word is from Ecclesiastes 3:
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:  A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;  A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;  A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;  A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;  He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.  I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life.  I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear before him.  I said in mine heart, God shall judge the righteous and the wicked: for there is a time there for every purpose and for every work.  I said in mine heart concerning the estate of the sons of men, that God might manifest them, and that they might see that they themselves are beasts.  For that which befalleth the sons of men befalleth beasts; even one thing befalleth them: as the one dieth, so dieth the other; yea, they have all one breath; so that a man hath no preeminence above a beast: for all is vanity.  All go unto one place; all are of the dust, and all turn to dust again.  Who knoweth the spirit of man that goeth upward, and the spirit of the beast that goeth downward to the earth?  Wherefore I perceive that there is nothing better, than that a man should rejoice in his own works; for that is his portion: for who shall bring him to see what shall be after him?

Ecclesiastes 3:1‭-‬2‭, ‬4‭-‬5‭, ‬7‭, ‬11‭-‬12‭, ‬14‭, ‬17‭-‬22 KJV

I thought the song was “Turn, Turn, Turn”, by The Byrds. Then I remembered your favorite song you talked about all our lives. I remember late one night, 2012, going on YouTube just to see, and I found it. I called and you were sorta sleep, but as usual got right up.  I said nothing,  just started playing the song on speaker. The gasp,  the shriek, the joy, your tears. Worth more to me than platinum. We’re such kindred spirits🎶

So, today, I honor your memory with Roy Hamilton’s “You’ll Never Walk Alone”. I know I never will. I love you to infinity. See you in my dreams, Prettyface-Mommiekins😢.

Random Musings 10/26/2016

​Random Musings, cuz I’m still awake after my Royal Farms at 330am run (DON’T JUDGE ME🙃)

I was about to blog, and I may still, but my mind wandered (yeah, what’s new?) The blog was to be about music, but then I went back and read an earlier blog. 

As a Writer, we often export ideas, but never revisit. Here’s what I wrote,  recently:

  Cryss-ism

“Dreams are God’s vision for our life’s purpose, embedded in our Spirits. It’s why they speak to you, even if you run from them, hide from them, fear them. You needn’t chase them, any more than you would your own DNA- they are God-ordained, just for you! Go. LIVE in your dreams (yes, plural), and walk in your destiny. ”
I assure you this is not an ego-moment; quite the opposite. I have the ability to observe my own situation, circumstances, life, from an objective perspective. I literally read the “Cryss-ism” as if someone else wrote it. OK,  it was one of my other personalities  (don’t hate cuz u only got one, or two),  but stay with me.

I count it a blessing to be able to detach and see truth and fact; to ponder, and learn, without the murky waters of personal feelings getting in the way. Having done so has allowed me to freely receive my own message. Wow! THAT’S a mighty big blessing and I’m grateful. I’m grateful for the ability to communicate via the written word. I KNOW I talk A LOT, but I rarely verbally communicate. Just doesn’t come natural. I thank God for the Phoenicians; to all who made the written word possible. 

But why writing vs. speaking? Talking, to me,  is like mixing baby oil and water. They are both liquid,  they can both nourish skin,  and in combination, go it really well. They can even exist in the same space, but they never become one. 

Writing is akin to absorption and communing. Becoming a part of, as opposed to being on something.  Does that make sense? Like music. It’s essence is internal,  though it’s vehicle is often external.

Maybe this is the blog. Hmmmm…..we’ll see. 

Reality Petrified

​Random Musings: ***Language Warning***

Interesting thing, reality. It’s fluid (but not wet), and can be compartmentalized; in constant flux (Heraclitus), from box to box. Visit, as you like, or need. 

Occasionally, in the midst of travel between realities, there’s the crash; fluid turns to concrete. 180 m.p.h., and your outer box folds like an accordion -inner self rapidly disintegrates. The shelves come barreling down. Other boxes come crashing to the relative surface. Non-wet reactions, like children jumping in puddles-splash! Life debris everywhere. Now what? The manufacturer of your boxes has gone out of business. You’re out of duct tape. Who’s gonna put this stuff back? Wait, what box were u in? Will it fit, with it being fluid, and all; morphing, shifting, intermingling, creating new entities? New reality. FUCK!
#SendDuctTape #CreateNewReality

#UsePlasticBins #ConcreteHeadaches

#DriveSlower?

The Answer, in His Time.

We’ve all petitioned to God, at some point in our lives, for something. Whether we are Christians, who’ve accepted Christ, as Lord and Savior; whether we know Him, intellectually, but not yet in our Spirit; whether we’ve heard of Him, but do not believe/have not yet surrendered ourselves completely to Him, we’ve all cried out. “Oh, my God”,”Lord have Mercy”, “Jesus, take the wheel! (Carrie Underwood)”; my Daddy’s favorite, “Great Day in the Morning! “- just pick one; we’ve said it, or thought it, sincerely, unintentionally, etc. Whether we believe on Him, and His promise to answer, is a very personal choice. It’s also not the point of this particular musing. 

God promises to answer prayers throughout His Word. No matter the language, version, or religion, it is the basis of faith; we ask, He hears and answers. In my acknowledged limited, but growing research, here are a few:

Christians– The Holy Bible.     Muslims/Islam– The Holy Qu’ran. Jews – The Torah and The Talmud. Hindus – Shreemad Bhagavad Gita, Upanishads and Veda.

I believe God to be who he says He is, and that Jesus, The Christ, IS my Savior, the Messiah, and soon coming King

I can point to the references in The Holy Bible where God promises that He will answer your prayers. 

  • Philippians 4:6-Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; (7) and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
  • Jeremiah 33:3- Call unto me,  and I will answer thee, and show the great and mighty things,  which thou knowest not. 
  • Matthew 21:22 – And all things,whatsoever ye ask in prayer, believing,  ye shall receive. 
  • John 14:14 – If ye ask any thing in my name, I shall do it.



https://youtu.be/BagH-zTfnsQ

Will You?

Good morning. God has seen fit to reset His Grace and Mercy; thus, we’re alive. He most assuredly could have chosen someone else, someone who transitioned last night/this morning, but He chose US! I am humbly grateful.

What will we do today to let Him know His choice was not in vain? Perhaps a smile at a random passing stranger? A phone call/visit/plate of food to someone sick, or shut-in? Choosing NOT to respond to negativity-meeting it with hope and encouragement? Apologize/make amends? Sincerely congratulate? Praise God, all day, just because He’s worthy? Intercede, through prayer, for someone, whether you know/like them, or not? Gut-laugh (not with malice), out loud, so that it becomes contagious? I don’t know. Just do something. He did.

Today’s Word: FAITH-
A very difficult concept for humans, especially because it’s solely dependent on what you believe/heard, not what you have witnessed. Wouldn’t trade my faith for anything. It may wax, it may wane (less, as I grow in the Lord), but never dissapates-never dies. EVER.

Today’s Song: “Be Ye Steadfast”-Florida Mass Choir- based on  1 Corinthians 15:58.
Why? Sometimes, we have faith, but still say “when will I see the manifestation of my faithfulness come to pass? ” You may not. Will you still believe? If you pray for someone; a child, a sick loved one, but see no change, nearing, and up to the end of your earthly life,will you stand on God’s promises, until your last breath? WILL YOU REMAIN FAITHFUL?  I declare today, and always,  I WILL.
Have a great day, in the Lord.

Today’s WordHebrews Chapter 11:
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. For by it the elders obtained a good report. Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.

By faith Abel offered unto God a more excellent sacrifice than Cain, by which he obtained witness that he was righteous, God testifying of his gifts: and by it he being dead yet speaketh. By faith Enoch was translated that he should not see death; and was not found, because God had translated him: for before his translation he had this testimony, that he pleased God. But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

By faith Noah, being warned of God of things not seen as yet, moved with fear, prepared an ark to the saving of his house; by the which he condemned the world, and became heir of the righteousness which is by faith.

By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went out, not knowing whither he went. By faith he sojourned in the land of promise, as in a strange country, dwelling in tabernacles with Isaac and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same promise: For he looked for a city which hath foundations, whose builder and maker is God. Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised. Therefore sprang there even of one, and him as good as dead, so many as the stars of the sky in multitude, and as the sand which is by the sea shore innumerable. These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth. For they that say such things declare plainly that they seek a country. And truly, if they had been mindful of that country from whence they came out, they might have had opportunity to have returned. But now they desire a better country, that is, an heavenly: wherefore God is not ashamed to be called their God: for he hath prepared for them a city.

By faith Abraham, when he was tried, offered up Isaac: and he that had received the promises offered up his only begotten son, Of whom it was said, That in Isaac shall thy seed be called: Accounting that God was able to raise him up, even from the dead; from whence also he received him in a figure. By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau concerning things to come. By faith Jacob, when he was a dying, blessed both the sons of Joseph; and worshipped, leaning upon the top of his staff.

By faith Joseph, when he died, made mention of the departing of the children of Israel; and gave commandment concerning his bones. By faith Moses, when he was born, was hid three months of his parents, because they saw he was a proper child; and they were not afraid of the king’s commandment.

By faith Moses, when he was come to years, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter; Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season; Esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt: for he had respect unto the recompence of the reward. By faith he forsook Egypt, not fearing the wrath of the king: for he endured, as seeing him who is invisible. Through faith he kept the passover, and the sprinkling of blood, lest he that destroyed the firstborn should touch them. By faith they passed through the Red sea as by dry land: which the Egyptians assaying to do were drowned.

By faith the walls of Jericho fell down, after they were compassed about seven days. By faith the harlot Rahab perished not with them that believed not, when she had received the spies with peace.

And what shall I more say? for the time would fail me to tell of Gedeon, and of Barak, and of Samson, and of Jephthae; of David also, and Samuel, and of the prophets: Who through faith subdued kingdoms, wrought righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, Quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, waxed valiant in fight, turned to flight the armies of the aliens. Women received their dead raised to life again: and others were tortured, not accepting deliverance; that they might obtain a better resurrection: And others had trial of cruel mockings and scourgings, yea, moreover of bonds and imprisonment: They were stoned, they were sawn asunder, were tempted, were slain with the sword: they wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins; being destitute, afflicted, tormented; (Of whom the world was not worthy:) they wandered in deserts, and in mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth. And these all, having obtained a good report through faith, received not the promise: God having provided some better thing for us, that they without us should not be made perfect.
Hebrews 11:1‭-‬40 KJV

 

Praise For A Destiny

Great morning, all. Blessed to be in the number again. Body trying to act out/show off; KNOT TA-DAY! Excited to see what God has in store. He NEVER DISAPPOINTS! Have a wondrous day!

Cryss-ism
“Dreams are God’s vision for our life’s purpose, embedded in our Spirits. It’s why they speak to you, even if you run from them, hide from them, fear them. You needn’t chase them, any more than you would your own DNA- they are God-ordained, just for you! Go. LIVE in your dreams (yes, plural), and walk in your destiny. ”

Of course there’s a song for today-lol.🎶
Morning has broken, like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken, like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for the springing fresh from the world

Sweet the rain’s new fall, sunlit from heaven
Like the first dewfall, on the first grass
Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden
Sprung in completeness where his feet pass

Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning
Born of the one light, Eden saw play
Praise with elation, praise every morning
God’s re-creation of the new day

Written by Steven Curtis Chapman, Eleanor Farjeon • Copyright © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group, BMG Rights Management US, LLC