It’s Not Always About Just Us: Transparency and Obedience To God 4/15/2020

Good morning, fam.  Praying each of you have an amazing day, today.  The following post is not something you would usually see from me, it may be long, and for the record, the HUMAN me DOES NOT WANT TO DO THIS, as it is VERY personal, and I am ULTRA private.  However, as I was standing at my sink 30 minutes ago, GOD spoke (yes, I LITERALLY heard Him out loud-1st time) and said to post, ON FB, because someone’s life may depend on it.  I MUST BE OBEDIENT.  So I ask that you pray with and for me. PLEASE take the time to read it, even if you have to get back to it later, all the way to the end, as I have NO IDEA who needs or this post.  Whew!  


I was standing at my kitchen sink this morning, looking for my peanut butter to make a sandwich and realized I had no bread.  No big deal right.  Here’s the thing…..I then looked into the refrigerator and the cupboard and something was off.  I then, in shock realized I haven’t grocery shopped in OVER A MONTH AND I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE IT.  How does that happen?  Now, I know I don’t cook, but I am religious about shopping monthly.  It hit me like a ton of bricks the place that I have been in the house since 11/22/2014.  CLINICAL DEPRESSION!!!!!!!!!!!!  Yes, I am saying it.  Now, I pride myself on being very, titanium-like strong.  Shucks, I am a child of the MOST HIGH GOD AND the daughter Rosemary and Christopher.  You might shake me, but ‘cha can’t break me, right?  WRONG!  

When my Fred left here suddenly on 11/22/2014, on the heels of my Mommiekins going home 10/27/2013, KABOOM 💣🤯   I    SHUT   DOWN  AND WENT TO BED! 

Me! “Supergirl, no sleep, call me-I got you, Crystal”,  SHUT DOWN. 
Here’s how I did it, and no one was the wiser.  As long as I stayed in the bed, I was good.  I continued to take care of all of my business, run my companies, service my clients. and I talked to friends and family, I even stayed in Intercessory Prayer with folks, as usual (BTW, I think that’s one of the greatest things to do, pray for others), so by all accounts, all was well.  I continued to go to family functions, shop, doc appts. etc. , but when I stepped off the bed on the floor, I became immediately unstable, unsure, physically sick and dizzy. In other words NON-REALITY -BASED living, at it’s best.  Everything outside of that bed was DEATH, PAIN, ANGER, OUTRAGE, FEAR, CONFUSION, ILLNESS, FAILURE….
IT’S NOT REAL, I can stay in bed and this is all a dream, so when I got up, it got real.  So I did go out, and looked good too….lol……but inside, I was SCREAMING, RUSHING, RUNNING to get back to “safety” – TO THE BED.
Now, I got within two classes shy of a M.S. degree in Human Service Administration/Clinical Psychology, before I fell too ill to finish.  I knew what I was looking at.  I was very good at my job and still am (praise be 2 God), and have been a Life Coach for several years.  I KNEW I WAS IN REAL TROUBLE and not only could I not fix it, I didn’t want to. And my apartment??????????????  I CRAVE organization and clean fresh space.
My space looks like a robbery occurred in here. CLUTTER on MORE CLUTTER. 
Enter, my friend. I was returning home from a doctors’ appt and she called and said she was around the corner and wanted to drop in.  I wanted to get to the bed, but for some reason, I said SURE and she came.  We sat and chatted for a while and my living room is quite out of order for me, but not ridiculous,  no garbage on the floor, etc., but for me, too much clutter.  For some reason, I got up, and I said to her, I want to show you something.  I walked her back to my bedroom and she stopped DEAD IN HER TRACKS.  I said, “welcome to Clinical Depression, my name is Crystal, and I’ll be your host for this evening.  I saw the tears well up in her eyes and she said “OH, MY GOD!!!!!!!!!”  There was barely anywhere to walk (help me, Jesus!).  Me!  Ms. “It’s so organized, I can find it in the dark”.  My bed was a mass of covers and clothes and my computers and my phone, my note pads and pens………
She got angry and said “NO. THIS STOPS NOW.  Crystal, on 11/22/2014, Fred died, you didn’t and I’m not going to watch you commit slow suicide, now where do we begin?” 
She walked toward my bed and said let’s change the linen and, for a split second, I got nervous because she was touching my safe place.  I walked over to the closet, dug out a bin of the last of Fred’s laundry, took out his shirt, and buried my face in it, and took a deep breath. 
She said, “No, we’re not doing that.  You can mourn him, love him and miss him, but you can’t die with him.”  

Because she chose to be obedient, God used her to save my life.  There’s a lesson about walking in HIS will and being obedient, even when you may not want to….you know, like this very personal post I’m doing.  Thank GOD, because I ACTUALLY heard her and I knew she was right.  I was taking the passive way out of this life.
Fast forward to three weeks ago.  I am doing better, feeling amazing, but I got sick with Bronchitis and went into the hospital for a few days and I’m still battling it, but now, I get up out of the bed willingly, freely, etc.  My aprtment looks better but not great (it’s a Fibromyalgia process). When I came out of the hospital, different people, ones who were not connected in any way, all began to tell me the very same thing about myself……eerie. 
All of a sudden, everything I have busted my hump for over the last 15 years, prayed, cried, begged, studied, sacrificed, stood alone, been called a dreamer, disregarded, devalued for, ….. ALL STARTED TO POUR FORTH, and it hasn’t stopped since.  I am in my purpose, I have no more questions or doubts, I am completely empty so God can totally use me to bless others, who want to bless others, and I FEEL AMAZING!  Bronchitis and all.
Wrap up:  I have amazing friends and everyone is NOT invited to that club, said this Scorpio woman. THEY are my extra layers of skin, going way back. Lots of great and awesome acquaintances and colleagues and strong connections, no doubt, but FRIENDS, the list is small  Cherish your relationships, they can save you.  When God tells you to do something, it ain’t always about you, just do it.  Mommiekins, Fred, I miss you and ache dearly, but I’m finally understanding my purpose and I KNOW you’ll be proud of me.  Thanks be to God for the time I had with you, what I learned, and I’ll see you when I have completed my work down here.  Save me a seat in Glory. I’ll join you, many and healthy years from now, I pray LOL.
I’m spent.  I pray that His will be done with this post.  You will probably NEVER get this close to my vest again (nothing personal) but if ANYONE is blessed or saved, I’m good.  Now, gotta take my coughing, exposed feelin’ self out, right now…..out of the bed, because the water’s just fine.  In fact, it’s clearer and better than ever outside the bed.    Hmmmmm….. this may become a short-story ( I can’t turn it off, can I?  LMBO)  Love you all, no strings attached.


UPDATE 4/2/2020

I am currently in the best place, Spiritually, RIGHT NOW, TODAY, than I have ever been in my entire life.  My journey with God has gone from my head (knowing Him intellectually), to my heart (feeling Him), and NOW, FINALLY, it’s in my SPIRIT and I am COMPLETELY SOLD OUT! 

#StayEncouraged
#NeverLoseHope
#Obedience2God
#TransparencyCanSaveLives
#NotAlwaysAboutJustUs

Fibro Funnies: Episode 1

Good evening, sports fans, and welcome to the Tuesday Night Body Competition. I’m your Host, Cryss. Joining me is my every faithful personality, fifteen year veteran, and Fibromyalgia expert, Chrissie.

Cryss: Good evening, Chrissie. What an exciting evening.

Cryss: Chrissie, you said a Dionne Warwick set of teeth mouthful ( what?). Just about everyone who’s ANYONE is here and they’ve come to play.

Chrissie: Oh, yeah. This has been brewing since Crystal made an unscheduled grocery store run, and didn’t use a scooter (Gasp!).

Cryss: Ruh-roh. In a post grocery interview, I asked if it was a wise decision. Crystal said, emphatically, that she WOULD NOT cower to Fibromyalgia.

Chrissie: Gutsy move, but let’s get to the action.

Tonite, The C.J. Body Parts are taking on the Aspercreme Heating Pads, to see who can hurt, swell, or become detached from its usual place, with the most ferocity vs. I can take it, I’m God’s child, with a prescription.

Cryss: Do you think the backup meds will be a factor, tonite? They’ve been successful before, but have been riding the bench, intermittently, due to non compliance issues. Remains to be seen.

Chrissie: I know the hip is gonna go hard, but the ribs are the wild card, so don’t count them out.

Cryss: Those knees? Now, they’re veterans; they can stay in the patella pocket and cause swelling, or run and slide.
Gotta have double coverage (heat and ice) on the neck, clavicle, and shoulder. They are very talented. The neck can get off the edge, to the shoulder, with quickness like I’ve never seen. Clavicle is just soft. You look at him and he swells AND turns red. He doesn’t play the position with verve.

Chrissie: Indeed, but, the Kankles are pretty reliable. They definitely give different looks: bilateral pitted edema, golf ball look on the side, which really wreaks havoc on the interior cute shoe, and, of course, they shrink, when going to the doctor.

Cryss: We MUST factor in the king-sized heating pad, and the Aspercreme. They’ve added lidocaine to their defense, a veteran loner, out of WALMART State Pharmacy aisle.

Chrissie: The back up, Ultram (Tramadol) has been successful at getting to the nerves, and sacking them. But there’s still the issue of sleep.

This is going to be one heck of a nite! No commercials. Good luck and stay tuned.

Now, the national anthem:

Oh, dang, did you see
How my left knee collapsed,
And I fell to the ground,
Grabbing any thing in sight.

Saw some folks standing there.
They were laughing at me.
Not a one offered help!
Lucky I can’t reach that weave.

And they let me let lay there
With my hands in the air
Which proves I was right
That you folks ain’t worth…

I guess I’d better get up
Be-fo-ore I.I ge-et ro-obbed (high note-hold, do runs)
For li- it-tle I’ve GOT (really high note, then breath)
And I split someone’s
(dramatic pause)
WIGGGGGGGG!🎤🎼🎶

P.S. Can’t take a knee, as I have no meniscus, but love u Kaep.

Fibro Funnies ©2018

CANCEL MY ON DEMAND

I just saw a rather life-changing sermon. A reminder, from God. Pastor Robert Morris is doing a series on Frequency: Tuning In and Hearing God.
It’s not a new concept, but I’d really gotten off track. I’d allowed the manifestation of many blessings to make me forget to devote time to the source. I’ve been feeling so out of it, of late. Can’t find my center- my peace.

In order to hear from God, AND listen, something on my end has to happen.

This sermon had four points:

1. Set an appointment.

Exodus 19:10
Exodus 19:20

God comes to a prepared place. Set a time and have a prepared place to meet God. My recliner. It’s where I was, the VERY first time I literally heard Him speak to me. Ok, I was in the kitchen, the first time, and ran, collapsing in the recliner in fear, because I knew I was in the house alone. But since then… What’s yours?
Pastor Morris asked what it would be like if he came to church unprepared. He then said some Churches/Pastors do, but they call it “letting the Holy Spirit take over.” (Ouch)

Any of you who know me well, know I have a desk calendar on my office wall (ex-large), a large daily appt book, a small calendar (on another wall), and my Google calendar. That does not include the calendars I manage for others. I have birthdays, events, holidays, anniversaries, bills, milestones, etc. I also have the Olympic events scheduled, during which time no one is to talk to me.

We make time for what we value. (YUPPER!!!!!)

Where is my time for God? Do I guard and protect that time, no matter what/who? I used to. But by bit, I answered a text, an email, a phone call, I’ll get to it later… Thanks be to God He doesn’t treat me that way! And I’ve been wondering why I’m so…off and feeling disconnected, lately. DUH. Geez.

2. Be Still and worship.

Psalm 46:10
Exodus 14:13
2 Chronicles 20:17

Boy, has God been trying to get through to me on THIS ONE!
He’s sent it through Women of Valour Ministries Andrea E. Monroe, in the form of a devotional book, I keep hearing it and seeing it everywhere. Did I stop? My body did, my mind was on the Indy 500 track. I’m so thankful to God that He loves me enough to continue to try and get my attention!!!!

3. Pray and read the Bible.
Mark 1:35
Psalm 119:147

“Where do I start, Pastor?”he said he was asked. His answer? “Inside. Read anything, Read a chapter a day, just read”.

4. Listen and Write.
Psalm 45:1
1 Chronicles 28:19
Habakkuk 2:2

Whew! I finally got something right. I started writing my prayers to God years ago. More often, after reading the posted prayers of the anointed Sherae Bell. (Can’t wait for her book of prayers…AHEM).
Writing is the manner in which I communicate best. Pastor Morris said you’ll begin writing in third person, e.g., He will bless me, to first person, e.g. I am blessed.

Hope you were able to get something from my crude notes.
Those who didn’t read this far, or just skimmed will find out another way.
Why was this life-altering?
WAIT FOR IT:
I am no longer available ON DEMAND! What does that mean?! My priorities are permanently shifted to all things eternal. God and kingdom work first. Oh, and I STILL have dreams- gifts and talents to be developed, and shared, hopefully to bless others.

Can you still reach out, if in need? ABSOLUTELY! Y’all know. Can u reach me at all hours, just because? No. Not blaming anyone. People only do what you allow. I have to adjust my behavior, too. I’m up late and often wake/disturb folks because I’m on a different schedule. We’ll respect one another.
Anyone who decides not to call/text/write(USPS)/email, or reach out after this, has misunderstood my desire to have time with God, the need to answer His call on my life, and to put my God – given gifts to use. Maybe some need an excuse for not being in touch, or have realized I’m not what I used to be, and my conversations are/will be different.
As long as God gives me breath, I will be a conduit for His people, my gifts re-dedicated daily.
I love u all, no strings attached.
#PreciousTimeWithGod
#TuningInToGod
#ValuingGod
#EvolutionInChrist
#HisPurposeOnMyLife
#DontChaseTheDreamLiveIt
#GiftsAreMeantToBeUsed4GodsGloryNotHidden
#HearListenObeyWashRinseRepeat

Why I Want to Meet Dave Chappelle

Why I want one hour with Dave Chappelle.
I often quote my second fave Philosopher, Heraclitus (Immanuel Kant #1), as having said, “All is flux. You cannot step into the same river twice.”
Turns out, not only I, but Plato misquoted this pre-Socratic Ephesian. His actual quote?
“In the same river we both step and do not step, we are and are not”.
Interpretation:
“…the world is in a constant state of change and, while one may step from the banks into the body of a river one has always known, the waters flowing over one’s feet will never be the same waters that flowed even a moment before.”

I am, indeed, evolving.

What does that have to do with Dave Chappelle? He’s become my favorite contemporary Philosopher, disguised as a Comedian. Many are; but Dave, his mask IS his masterpiece, because there’s really NO MASK (Cryss-ism). Geez I’m lucid this time of night😲. Anyhoo,

See his Netflix special
“Equanimity”
Not to be confused with the two released late last year. You’ll see what I mean, especially in the end.

#OneHourMrChappelle

HAPPY NEW YEAR

What are your goals for the new year? Have you started your vision board?

What are the things most important to you? Family, Faith, Politics, Career, Love, Financial Stability?

Drop a note. Let me know what you’re doing, and what changes you’d like to see (personal, professional, political, policy, etc.) in 2018!

One of my goals is to unleash my creativity. No more stifling my imagination. Stay-tuned.

Reflection Time

God has been so good. He’s shown Himself to me in ways I could not have expected. Mostly because I truly surrendered to Him. He’s held me, when trembled; He’s stretched me (and still is) when I thought I wasn’t good, or smart enough; He’s humbled me, when I thought I was in control; He’s given me joy, and peace, in the midst of my grief; He’s blessed me beyond anything I deserve. He steadies me, when I falter; He’s teaching me obedience, and self-worth, without arrogance; He’s met me in His Word. He’s made me understand what our Elders meant, when they would say, “try Him for yourself”. I have. It’s glorious. It’s tough. It’s wondrous. I’m less impatient, as I realize His timing is perfect. God IS the ultimate promise keeper. I am grateful. All that I do MUST BE ORDAINED BY GOD!

I’ve been reminded, yet again this year, that everything is temporal. If there’s ANYONE I’ve hurt, disrespected, angered, ticked off, let’s get it resolved. Inbox, email, call, semaphore… I know how to hear, listen and apologize.

I look forward to what God has in store, as I desire to move, and live in His will.
That said, I pray each of you, and your families are blessed with good health (across all life domains), and with prosperity, in the new year.
#2018 #GRATEFUL #GODLEDSPIRITDRIVEN

“Letters To My Father”

Well, I’m officially a published Author! I wrote a chapter in an anthology called, “Letters To My Father “.

Cathartic. Necessary. Exciting!!

It’s a wonderful start to my career as a published Author.

I’ll still publish the works of others, through Collective Press, but I’ve stepped into Authorship, and the water’s just fine.

The anthology is on Amazon, but I hope you’ll order direct from me, so I can your personally autograph your copy (just $20.)

http://www.paypal.me/CMGMT

It’s also formatted for Amazon Kindle.

I would appreciate reviews. Post them here.

Next up, “The Unlikely CEO “. Stay-tuned for the promo video.

Thank you for your support along this new leg of my journey.

Florida Supreme Court Rules That Oldies Recordings are Public Domain

Musicians, Lyricists, Producers, Directors…. Take note. Follow this story. Spread it through each genre and generation.

https://www.digitalmusicnews.com/2017/10/26/florida-pre-1972-copyright-oldies/

Florida Supreme Court Rules That Oldies Recordings are Public Domain

Musicians, Lyricists, Producers, Directors…. Take note. Follow this story. Spread it through each genre and generation.

https://www.digitalmusicnews.com/2017/10/26/florida-pre-1972-copyright-oldies/

How Do I Survive?

I am baffled. I acknowledge not being a Rhodes Scholar, but I attended Baltimore City College (third oldest high school in the nation, international renowned). Nonetheless, I’m confused as to how this “President”, and cabinet (might as well be kitchen cabinets) are LITERALLY breaking long established laws, with NO consequences.

One of the first things I remember learning about government, is that Congress exists for the purpose of “checks and balances”. They have refused to do their job, since Obama was President, and that went unchecked.

Perhaps someone can enlighten me. Granted, in any class I’ve ever had at 10 a.m, I was CERTAIN to be asleep (don’t judge me, I’m nocturnal), but I MUST have learned enough to know the function of the three branches of government. Heck, even SchoolHouse Rock taught us that much. These acts, or lack thereof, perpetrated by the last two administrations, Congress refusing EVERYTHING President Obama sent before them, looking the other way, as “Voldermort” sells our country to the scariest bidder, appear to be not only immoral, just plain stupid, and let’s not forget EXTREMELY DANGEROUS, but ILLEGAL. This goes back to “tricky” Dick Chaney, his bestie, Donald “Rummy” Rumsfeld, George W. Bush, and 9/11, and the “WMD’s”/ Iraq War; maybe even further.

Sidebar (but not really):Dick Chaney shot a man, during a hunting trip. The man apologized to him. For what? Being so shootable? What were you hunting, Mr. Chaney? What did he say/know?

How is this happening with NO repercussions? No Framers coming back, like Jacob Marley, and haunting the CRAP out of these folks. I’d say, I got Carpal Tunnel Syndrome writing the Constitution and Declaration of Independence, (not to mention having to dip my pen in ink every five seconds) and this is what you do?

Seriously, help me understand. My brilliant folks, far and near. Please don’t just read, talk to me. I need to understand how this COUP, ahem, blatant travesty is being allowed, and no one saw it coming, or is trying to stop it. Could we stop it?

Police shooting/ killing/ assaulting African – African men, women, ave children, in public view, on video, and receiving no more than a paid vacation? Their reason being, “I feared for my life. ”

What of the Police Officers who are actually trying to keep our neighborhoods and communities safe, who are kind and empathetic, who are well – trained in de-escalation, and crisis management, but STILL want to be able to go home to their families? They now HAVE to fear for their lives, because of their colleagues who devalue the lives of certain minority groups, and make assumptions, and react, with fatal results. Criminals who are better armed than Law Enforcement, and no one knows how the weapons are getting to our minority neighborhoods. Kinda like the drugs, huh?

Of course, after this blog, I may (unlike you know who) be kicked off of social media/ internet.

Signed,

Educated, but Baffled