CANCEL MY ON DEMAND

I just saw a rather life-changing sermon. A reminder, from God. Pastor Robert Morris is doing a series on Frequency: Tuning In and Hearing God.
It’s not a new concept, but I’d really gotten off track. I’d allowed the manifestation of many blessings to make me forget to devote time to the source. I’ve been feeling so out of it, of late. Can’t find my center- my peace.

In order to hear from God, AND listen, something on my end has to happen.

This sermon had four points:

1. Set an appointment.

Exodus 19:10
Exodus 19:20

God comes to a prepared place. Set a time and have a prepared place to meet God. My recliner. It’s where I was, the VERY first time I literally heard Him speak to me. Ok, I was in the kitchen, the first time, and ran, collapsing in the recliner in fear, because I knew I was in the house alone. But since then… What’s yours?
Pastor Morris asked what it would be like if he came to church unprepared. He then said some Churches/Pastors do, but they call it “letting the Holy Spirit take over.” (Ouch)

Any of you who know me well, know I have a desk calendar on my office wall (ex-large), a large daily appt book, a small calendar (on another wall), and my Google calendar. That does not include the calendars I manage for others. I have birthdays, events, holidays, anniversaries, bills, milestones, etc. I also have the Olympic events scheduled, during which time no one is to talk to me.

We make time for what we value. (YUPPER!!!!!)

Where is my time for God? Do I guard and protect that time, no matter what/who? I used to. But by bit, I answered a text, an email, a phone call, I’ll get to it later… Thanks be to God He doesn’t treat me that way! And I’ve been wondering why I’m so…off and feeling disconnected, lately. DUH. Geez.

2. Be Still and worship.

Psalm 46:10
Exodus 14:13
2 Chronicles 20:17

Boy, has God been trying to get through to me on THIS ONE!
He’s sent it through Women of Valour Ministries Andrea E. Monroe, in the form of a devotional book, I keep hearing it and seeing it everywhere. Did I stop? My body did, my mind was on the Indy 500 track. I’m so thankful to God that He loves me enough to continue to try and get my attention!!!!

3. Pray and read the Bible.
Mark 1:35
Psalm 119:147

“Where do I start, Pastor?”he said he was asked. His answer? “Inside. Read anything, Read a chapter a day, just read”.

4. Listen and Write.
Psalm 45:1
1 Chronicles 28:19
Habakkuk 2:2

Whew! I finally got something right. I started writing my prayers to God years ago. More often, after reading the posted prayers of the anointed Sherae Bell. (Can’t wait for her book of prayers…AHEM).
Writing is the manner in which I communicate best. Pastor Morris said you’ll begin writing in third person, e.g., He will bless me, to first person, e.g. I am blessed.

Hope you were able to get something from my crude notes.
Those who didn’t read this far, or just skimmed will find out another way.
Why was this life-altering?
WAIT FOR IT:
I am no longer available ON DEMAND! What does that mean?! My priorities are permanently shifted to all things eternal. God and kingdom work first. Oh, and I STILL have dreams- gifts and talents to be developed, and shared, hopefully to bless others.

Can you still reach out, if in need? ABSOLUTELY! Y’all know. Can u reach me at all hours, just because? No. Not blaming anyone. People only do what you allow. I have to adjust my behavior, too. I’m up late and often wake/disturb folks because I’m on a different schedule. We’ll respect one another.
Anyone who decides not to call/text/write(USPS)/email, or reach out after this, has misunderstood my desire to have time with God, the need to answer His call on my life, and to put my God – given gifts to use. Maybe some need an excuse for not being in touch, or have realized I’m not what I used to be, and my conversations are/will be different.
As long as God gives me breath, I will be a conduit for His people, my gifts re-dedicated daily.
I love u all, no strings attached.
#PreciousTimeWithGod
#TuningInToGod
#ValuingGod
#EvolutionInChrist
#HisPurposeOnMyLife
#DontChaseTheDreamLiveIt
#GiftsAreMeantToBeUsed4GodsGloryNotHidden
#HearListenObeyWashRinseRepeat

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HAPPY NEW YEAR

What are your goals for the new year? Have you started your vision board?

What are the things most important to you? Family, Faith, Politics, Career, Love, Financial Stability?

Drop a note. Let me know what you’re doing, and what changes you’d like to see (personal, professional, political, policy, etc.) in 2018!

One of my goals is to unleash my creativity. No more stifling my imagination. Stay-tuned.

Help Me To Understand

I am baffled. I acknowledge not being a Rhodes Scholar, but I attended Baltimore City College (third oldest high school in the nation, international renowned). Nonetheless, I’m confused as to how this “President”, and cabinet (might as well be kitchen cabinets) are LITERALLY breaking long established laws, with NO consequences.

One of the first things I remember learning about government, is that Congress exists for the purpose of “checks and balances”. They have refused to do their job, since Obama was President, and that went unchecked.

Perhaps someone can enlighten me. Granted, in any class I’ve ever had at 10 a.m, I was CERTAIN to be asleep (don’t judge me, I’m nocturnal), but I MUST have learned enough to know the function of the three branches of government. Heck, even SchoolHouse Rock taught us that much. These acts, or lack thereof, perpetrated by the last two administrations, Congress refusing EVERYTHING President Obama sent before them, looking the other way, as “Voldermort” sells our country to the scariest bidder, appear to be not only immoral, just plain stupid, and let’s not forget EXTREMELY DANGEROUS, but ILLEGAL. This goes back to “tricky” Dick Chaney, his bestie, Donald “Rummy” Rumsfeld, George W. Bush, and 9/11, and the “WMD’s”/ Iraq War; maybe even further.

Sidebar (but not really):Dick Chaney shot a man, during a hunting trip. The man apologized to him. For what? Being so shootable? What were you hunting, Mr. Chaney? What did he say/know?

How is this happening with NO repercussions? No Framers coming back, like Jacob Marley, and haunting the CRAP out of these folks. I’d say, I got Carpal Tunnel Syndrome writing the Constitution and Declaration of Independence, (not to mention having to dip my pen in ink every five seconds) and this is what you do?

Seriously, help me understand. My brilliant folks, far and near. Please don’t just read, talk to me. I need to understand how this COUP, ahem, blatant travesty is being allowed, and no one saw it coming, or is trying to stop it. Could we stop it?

Police shooting/ killing/ assaulting African – African men, women, ave children, in public view, on video, and receiving no more than a paid vacation? Their reason being, “I feared for my life. ”

What of the Police Officers who are actually trying to keep our neighborhoods and communities safe, who are kind and empathetic, who are well – trained in de-escalation, and crisis management, but STILL want to be able to go home to their families? They now HAVE to fear for their lives, because of their colleagues who devalue the lives of certain minority groups, and make assumptions, and react, with fatal results. Criminals who are better armed than Law Enforcement, and no one knows how the weapons are getting to our minority neighborhoods. Kinda like the drugs, huh?

Of course, after this blog, I may (unlike you know who) be kicked off of social media/ internet.

Signed,

Educated, but Baffled

Parallels

I’ve had a three parallel day. I’ve been blessed, all day, beginning with life, health, family, friends.

Parallel 1. I’ve felt quite human, as I had to see a Doctor, who told me the “cure ” for Fibromyalgia is not medication, but sleep and exercise (almost, but I wasn’t sure anyone would pay my bail). Oh, yeah. Went to the DMV, stood in line, only to be told they need proof of a ticket I paid(had a receipt)… nevermind….
Parallel 2. I was reminded of my soul, as I left the DMV and saw a place called “All About Music”(Joppa Rd., near the Kmart and DMV). I actually went in to look at sheet music, and stepped into an impromptu guitar performance. I was inquiring about having the fret board of my guitar fixed. Another customer was picking up his three guitars, and hit a chord that, in turn, hit me. I asked questions, he responded. I told him I was trying to learn ELP’s “Still, You Turn Me On”. He looked into my eyes, and said, “talk to Charlie”. We talked another couple of minutes. Just then, a man who looked as if he were an aged 1970’s surfer dude, with skin that had been tanned almost to leather, and hair bleached by the sun, came into the midst. The customer said, “Charlie, this nice lady is looking to learn ELP.” I told him I was a neophyte, at best, but my Yamaha workstation could not reproduce the acoustic sound, for my ear. He shook my hand, and said, ” NEVER say Yamaha to me” (PTSD moment? ) As I crept for the door, Charlie picked up a random acoustic guitar and played, and sang, “From The Beginning”, ELP. I turned slowly, and was frozen in stunned ecstasy. As quickly as he appeared, he was gone. The customer said, “wow, you have a great voice”. I didn’t realize I was singing.

Parallel 3 (best for last) MY SPIRIT:
I am feeling a bit overwhelmed, of late; closing old books, writing new chapters – forgetting to be present. A very wise friend told me I needed to vacuum away the debris in my head, and to remember that time is relative. So, I went to The WORD. God met me there, reminded me that I’d given all over to Him, and things were going better than expected, to eat something, and that it would be okay if I did nothing, tonite. I watched the last two episodes of “So, You Think You Can Dance”. It was ethereal. It was the manifestation of what I was reading. 1Chronicles 25, about the importance of music and dance, in praise and worship. By the time I was done, God had given me the FOURTH song for my Album. Fantastic end to the day. GOD DOES NOT DO RANDOM!

The Dance and the Music

Most who know me well, are aware of my love affair with music. It’s always evolving, ever enchanting, and a great equalizer, amongst humans.

You grow, you live, you love, you lose, you grieve, you learn. As I’ve evolved, I’ve discovered a great shift in my top three priorities. A Paradigm shift, if you will. Abraham Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs” has become more than a conceptual paperweight on the desk of my psyche.

God, my KING, is my NUMBER ONE priority, now, and forever.

I won’t lie to you, and say it was easy, because it wasn’t. Music has ALWAYS come to my rescue. When I’m sad, I can wallow in blues, or certain jazz numbers; Robert Johnson, The Allman Brothers, Buddy Guy, B.B. King, Miles Davis, Joe Sample. When I’ve had enough of my own whining, I go to Gospel, R&B, Rock, and even a bit of Heavy Metal; Richard Smallwood, Doug Miller, James Cleveland; Anita Baker, Jill Scott, India Arie, Roberta Flack, Barry White (yessss), Winger, Dio, Motley Crue, Journey, Foreigner, Heart. Feeling creative, a bit of Alternative Rock; Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, Train, Creed. When I’m feeling like a hyperactive Jack Russell Terrier, I go to the “light and easy favorites, of yesterday and today”. CSN&Y, England Dan and John Ford Coley, James Taylor; Carole King; Fleetwood Mac. Ah, when I’m in my version of love, The Spinners, The SalSoul Generation, Dan Fogelberg, Sade, Adele, Staind, Phoebe Snow….ad infinitum.

Tonight, I was talking to God, whom I call “The Great Orchestrator”, about a few things. I believe He gave each of us an instrument, unlike any other (our gifts), and the perfect sheet music -THE WORD! When we are in sync with God, obedient, and have pure love for God AND one another, it’s the perfect “song”. Of course, we have written our OWN metaphorical music, over time, and can’t figure out why everything is in disharmony, but that’s another blog.

Anyway, I was telling God how incredibly complicated things have become for me, of late, and that I know it’s because I keep getting in His way, when He tries to lead and guide me. No, it’s not that I can do better, it’s plain ole fear. Fear, for me, leads to self -sabotage ( yeah, only me, right? ).

I have another love. It’s DANCE! I was a dancer and figure skater, up until my 20’s. I still secretly choreograph in my head, when I see certain movement, or colors, witness leaves blowing in the breeze, or hear a particular song. Dance is the physical manifestation of music, for me.

So, I’m sitting here talking to God about how I’m wrecking His perfect plan for me, and watching the Iran Contra Hearings on YouTube. (What?) Suddenly, another video appears, and it’s David Letterman and Oprah.I have ADHD, so you know I watched. Paul Schaefer and the Orchestra begin to play, “Dance With Me”, by Orleans. “Wow! I haven’t heard that song in a while. Love the harmonies”, Crystal says to Cryss. So, I/ she looked it up, and began to sing along.

“Dance with me. I want to be your partner, can’t you see? The music is just starting. Night is calling, and I am falling. Dance with me.”

How sweet. How simplistic and sweet.

“Let it lift you off the ground. Starry-eyed, and love is ALL around us. I can take you where you want to go…”

Then, it happened. The epiphany. GOD, you’ve done it AGAIN!

You said my daughter is in a “place”, and I need her free, so I can not only use her, but bless her. So, as He’s done many times before, He spoke to me through the MUSIC. He simplified the sheet music, so I could read, and play on my instrument.

“Dance with me, my child. I want to commune with you, can’t you see? Your real mission is just starting. Night is falling, when you usually pray, and I AM here, calling. Dance with me.

Let ME lift you off the ground, my daughter. You won’t sabotage these blessings, for they are for YOU, ONLY. Stick with me, no matter. I can take you where you want to go, moreover, where you should be.

He does. He did. He can. He will. That’s tonite’s dance, to the Music of The Great Orchestrator, and the reason for the change in hierarchy.

Vizionairee- 2017

The “24-hour” Perspective, and The Clock

SUPERNATURAL

In my quest to be a better steward over the time that God has seen fit to give me, I cut back on my television time. I wanted to devote more time to reading His Word, communing in that space with Him, hearing from Him.

Even in doing so, I began to feel distracted, unfocused, disconnected, and lost. I was reading, praying, meditating, but not connecting. So restless, and of a useless, frenetic energy. Unproductive. It was driving me bonkers. I found myself wandering through my days, going through the motions, numb. What had I done to unplug myself from God, as He never, ever let’s go of us (see Romans 8:38-39).

NATURAL

I’ve been in pugilist mode with nearly every company from whom I receive tech services. Cell phones burning, apps disappearing, and internet/double billing woes, abound. I’ve literally clocked the equivalent of approximately two months worth of hours on the phone, live chats, and in-person problem-solving adventures. No More! I divorced my cable company, and got my cellular folks straight (sorta-stay-tuned), with the help of the FCC, in both cases. Check. You can only poke this Scorpio bear but so much, before she comes out of hibernation, SWINGING😡.

Well, in every battle, there are casualties. Mine? No Wi-Fi, no phone line, no TV, no problem.  I’ll simply change carriers. I will NOT be held hostage. Well, here’s the thing: only two carriers that provide the desired services, in my area (what kind of tech dead zone am I in?); the one I divorced, and the one I left, to go to the one I just divorced. Check and Mate, right? Undaunted, albeit a bit dented, I said, “OK, I needed more time with GOD anyway, I’ve much to do, and my cell has a mobile hotspot, right?”  I was also introduced to ROKU, so, when I wanna look at TV, I will. Well, 4GLTE is not Wi-Fi. It reverts to 3G, when utilizing other devices, or third party apps. Been buffering so much, a 30 minute Boxing match took almost an hour. I was ready to throw in the towel, and stop the fight. So, I let it just fade to the screensaver, which is an analog clock, that counts hours, minutes, seconds.

After a few days, it really started messing with my mind, this clock. I felt like I was literally watching a countdown of my life… tick-tock. tick-tock. Lord, what am I to do? I’m feeling lost and unfocused. Time is just ticking away, and I’m being wasteful.I did nothing.

SUPERNATURAL

Yesterday, was both physically, and Spiritually rough. I was, and always am, GRATEFUL for all that I am, all that I have, and surely God’s love, grace, and mercy. Fibromyalgia showed out, since it was raining, and I had new body parts deciding to get in on the fun. Gave in to that, too, for a minute (nice try). My Spirit was just… low. Even still, I went about my day, talking to God along the way; asking this thing or that, certainly giving due praise, reading the Word (Psalms 119), etc. 

As evening drew nigh, I heard the rain. I knew it had been raining all day, as I’d been out in it. Usually, when I’m out in the rain, I turn my face toward the sky, and let it fall on me. Not today. But now, I HEARD it. It tapped out melodies the windows, the cars and streets provided harmonies, the tin drainpipe beat out a bass rhythm- all of it calling me. I turned off all the lights, cut out every sound, opened the window and answered. PURE PEACE! I reveled in it, for a time, but was inevitably drawn back to “things”. Later, I went to be bed praying that God would allow me to feel Him, again, to reconnect. To re-engage with the Spirit of my ordained purpose.

NATURAL

That doggone clock screensaver was still there, when I woke up. Fell asleep wth the TV on.

SUPERNATURAL

Today, I began my morning prayers. Gratitude, Thanksgiving, Praise. Lord, please meet me in Your Word, this morning. Give me purpose, and set me to action, making manifest the gifts you’ve bestowed upon me. All glory and honor to You. The Word for the day, in my Bible app was Psalms 42:11.

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

Hmmmm… OK, I’ll just read the whole thing, while that incessant clock is in front of me. Yes, I could have turned off the television, but it’s like I WANTED to be angry about it. This particular chapter is very short, only eleven verses. Boy, did it pack a LOT in, for me. 

As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.  My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?  My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God?  When I remember these things, I pour out my soul in me: for I had gone with the multitude, I went with them to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise, with a multitude that kept holyday.  Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.  O my God, my soul is cast down within me: therefore will I remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the Hermonites, from the hill Mizar.  Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy waterspouts: all thy waves and thy billows are gone over me.  Yet the Lord will command his lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life.  I will say unto God my rock, Why hast thou forgotten me? why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy? As with a sword in my bones, mine enemies reproach me; while they say daily unto me, Where is thy God?  Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

Wow!!!!

I looked up at the clock, and saw something new. Time wasn’t mocking me, it was calling me to the action attached to my purpose. It was saying that the loving, kind, and merciful God I serve, has given you 24 hours to do that which He has called you to do. You know what it is, as He grows it in you daily. It said that even in rain, He gave you peace; it said even as you slept, He heard You, just as He did in your waking hours; it said you see the clock today, because He gave you MORE TIME. It said even when we are uncertain about what comes next, that He’s there to lead and guide you, giving you more time. You’re still here for a reason, as evidenced by that nagging clock, at which you stare. So, stop wasting the gift of time, get about my business. Heck, you’ve got time.  

24.

Psalms 42:1‭-‬11 KJV

http://bible.com/1/psa.42.1-11.KJV

Psalms 42:11 KJV

http://bible.com/1/psa.42.11.KJV