Pain and Gratitude

My hands are swollen from trying to massage the shoulder, clavicle, rib, elbow, hip, and low back pain away. BTW: I took my pain meds 2 hours ago, and have 10 hours, until I can take more. I will get worse, as the night progresses, because I’m in a Fibromyalgia flare up.

So, what’s the testimony? I praise God, in the midst of this agony, because He’s gotten me through before, and He’ll do it again! There’s NOTHING my Savior will do for me, that He won’t do for you. I lie in wait for my relief, and I KNOW it’s coming. Until then, Blanche, Rose and Sophia, Dorothy, and I will crack up, I’ll continue my intercessory prayers, as they take the focus off of me, and know that, Lord’s willing, I’ll know joy, in the morning.

“It won’t be as long as it has been.”
-Prettyface-Mommiekins

#BeEncouraged #Joy #Peace
#BeatingFibroOnePrayerAtATime
#YoureNotAlone
#GodLovesYou
#GodIsTheUltimatePromiseKeeper #NeverLoseHope

Advertisements

Basketball: A Mind Game

I’ve been asked, many times, why I don’t watch basketball, or whether I even like it. I grew up watching BBall.

I have TWO reasons for not watching. Please do not think I’m not aware of the sheer talent in the league, since I watched. I am.

Reason#1

I LOVED the Boston Celtics’ fab five:
Larry Bird
Kevin McHale
Dennis Johnson (R.I.P)
Robert Parrish
Danny Ainge

The Celtics, the Lakers (Magic, Kareem, Worthy), The Pistons, The Jazz….THAT was worth watching. Lost interest, after the Olympic “Dream Team”, and those guys retired. Never to be duplicated.

Reason#2

I grew up with the greatest player never known; my brother, Larry. He was a young phenom. He was grace and granite, fluid, and steel, flight, wind, water, FIRE.
When I was about 5/6 years old, my brother went to the Youth Olympics. At Friendship Airport, now BWI-Thurgood Marshall, you could watch them board the plane, near the tarmac. He was so handsome, in his gold sports jacket (HOF-like), perfect fro, and killer smile. I was so excited, as he, and the other young men, boarded the plane. I waved frantically, yelling, clapping, shouting, “that’s my brother, my ‘stepping partner’ ( I got that name because he rarely got to leave the house without me attached to his leg)”. Funny thing happened…they closed the doors, and I could no longer see him. Prettyface-Mommiekins said we were leaving. Well that can’t be right. Where’s Larry? Why didn’t he come back, yet? We have to wait for him. How’s he gonna get home? My young mind could not process that he was not coming with us, or that he wasn’t gone, forever. In the words of Adele, I set FIRE to the rain, dropping to the ground, screaming, begging for my “brova”. REAL LONG NIGHT for my parents.

A knee injury took him off the fast-track to basketball history. BNBL(Baltimore Neighborhood Basketball League) wanted him, BADLY, and he was barely out of junior high.

In later years, my brother had gained a lot of weight, but still had a love for the game, so he joined a local group. They were all about 5-10 years his junior, and in great physical shape. The games were played at Lake Clifton H.S. One day, my sister-in-law, and my nieces went to a game. I hadn’t seen him play since I was a kid. As they began the coin toss, people began to say things: ” I know that fat guy isn’t playing”, “look at ‘Fat Albert”….they laughed, not knowing they were sitting near his wife, children, and sister.

The game began, and the derisive chatter grew into, “these boys gon run him into the ground”, “he’s gonna have a heart attack” (laughter), “he can’t hang”. We said nothing. The ball comes to Larry. To this day, I don’t know what he did, or how he did it, but he moved so fast, he had to catch his own rebound, as the others seemed to be standing still, trying to figure out what happened. He proceeded to do more of the same, throughout the ENTIRE game. The chatter turned to chants of “Go big man”, ” Fat Albert is schooling dem boys”. Yes, they won,thanks to my brother’s triple-double.
After the game, I asked HOW. You out-maneuvered them all.  He simply said, “finesse”. HUH? He further explained that the essence of the game is mental, and that the physical is merely the manifestation; the execution. Further, he taught me that you MUST ALWAYS know what your opponent will do, before they do. HUH? “I out-thought them, Tigger (that’s me).” Oh, I see. That advice has served me well.

Why is this on my head? It’s playoff time. In the spirit, I just watched a great documentary called , “Magic & Bird: A Courtship of Rivals, on HBO On Demand. It was awesome. It took me back to the airport tarmac, to the bleachers at Lake Clifton, to the reason I don’t watch; I’ve seen the best.

I miss you all day, every day, my Tommy💔😥🏀.

CANCEL MY ON DEMAND

I just saw a rather life-changing sermon. A reminder, from God. Pastor Robert Morris is doing a series on Frequency: Tuning In and Hearing God.
It’s not a new concept, but I’d really gotten off track. I’d allowed the manifestation of many blessings to make me forget to devote time to the source. I’ve been feeling so out of it, of late. Can’t find my center- my peace.

In order to hear from God, AND listen, something on my end has to happen.

This sermon had four points:

1. Set an appointment.

Exodus 19:10
Exodus 19:20

God comes to a prepared place. Set a time and have a prepared place to meet God. My recliner. It’s where I was, the VERY first time I literally heard Him speak to me. Ok, I was in the kitchen, the first time, and ran, collapsing in the recliner in fear, because I knew I was in the house alone. But since then… What’s yours?
Pastor Morris asked what it would be like if he came to church unprepared. He then said some Churches/Pastors do, but they call it “letting the Holy Spirit take over.” (Ouch)

Any of you who know me well, know I have a desk calendar on my office wall (ex-large), a large daily appt book, a small calendar (on another wall), and my Google calendar. That does not include the calendars I manage for others. I have birthdays, events, holidays, anniversaries, bills, milestones, etc. I also have the Olympic events scheduled, during which time no one is to talk to me.

We make time for what we value. (YUPPER!!!!!)

Where is my time for God? Do I guard and protect that time, no matter what/who? I used to. But by bit, I answered a text, an email, a phone call, I’ll get to it later… Thanks be to God He doesn’t treat me that way! And I’ve been wondering why I’m so…off and feeling disconnected, lately. DUH. Geez.

2. Be Still and worship.

Psalm 46:10
Exodus 14:13
2 Chronicles 20:17

Boy, has God been trying to get through to me on THIS ONE!
He’s sent it through Women of Valour Ministries Andrea E. Monroe, in the form of a devotional book, I keep hearing it and seeing it everywhere. Did I stop? My body did, my mind was on the Indy 500 track. I’m so thankful to God that He loves me enough to continue to try and get my attention!!!!

3. Pray and read the Bible.
Mark 1:35
Psalm 119:147

“Where do I start, Pastor?”he said he was asked. His answer? “Inside. Read anything, Read a chapter a day, just read”.

4. Listen and Write.
Psalm 45:1
1 Chronicles 28:19
Habakkuk 2:2

Whew! I finally got something right. I started writing my prayers to God years ago. More often, after reading the posted prayers of the anointed Sherae Bell. (Can’t wait for her book of prayers…AHEM).
Writing is the manner in which I communicate best. Pastor Morris said you’ll begin writing in third person, e.g., He will bless me, to first person, e.g. I am blessed.

Hope you were able to get something from my crude notes.
Those who didn’t read this far, or just skimmed will find out another way.
Why was this life-altering?
WAIT FOR IT:
I am no longer available ON DEMAND! What does that mean?! My priorities are permanently shifted to all things eternal. God and kingdom work first. Oh, and I STILL have dreams- gifts and talents to be developed, and shared, hopefully to bless others.

Can you still reach out, if in need? ABSOLUTELY! Y’all know. Can u reach me at all hours, just because? No. Not blaming anyone. People only do what you allow. I have to adjust my behavior, too. I’m up late and often wake/disturb folks because I’m on a different schedule. We’ll respect one another.
Anyone who decides not to call/text/write(USPS)/email, or reach out after this, has misunderstood my desire to have time with God, the need to answer His call on my life, and to put my God – given gifts to use. Maybe some need an excuse for not being in touch, or have realized I’m not what I used to be, and my conversations are/will be different.
As long as God gives me breath, I will be a conduit for His people, my gifts re-dedicated daily.
I love u all, no strings attached.
#PreciousTimeWithGod
#TuningInToGod
#ValuingGod
#EvolutionInChrist
#HisPurposeOnMyLife
#DontChaseTheDreamLiveIt
#GiftsAreMeantToBeUsed4GodsGloryNotHidden
#HearListenObeyWashRinseRepeat

Why I Want to Meet Dave Chappelle

Why I want one hour with Dave Chappelle.
I often quote my second fave Philosopher, Heraclitus (Immanuel Kant #1), as having said, “All is flux. You cannot step into the same river twice.”
Turns out, not only I, but Plato misquoted this pre-Socratic Ephesian. His actual quote?
“In the same river we both step and do not step, we are and are not”.
Interpretation:
“…the world is in a constant state of change and, while one may step from the banks into the body of a river one has always known, the waters flowing over one’s feet will never be the same waters that flowed even a moment before.”

I am, indeed, evolving.

What does that have to do with Dave Chappelle? He’s become my favorite contemporary Philosopher, disguised as a Comedian. Many are; but Dave, his mask IS his masterpiece, because there’s really NO MASK (Cryss-ism). Geez I’m lucid this time of night😲. Anyhoo,

See his Netflix special
“Equanimity”
Not to be confused with the two released late last year. You’ll see what I mean, especially in the end.

#OneHourMrChappelle

Humanity Lost?

I am, and have always, had a humanistic view of the world. All humans are basically good. Circumstances, environments, learned abhorrent behaviors, cause us to shift away from our innate goodness. Fixable.

Over the last ten years, my rose-colored glasses have been stepped upon, but they’ve never been destroyed. I repair them. I keep looking for the good, even when I notice the horror.

Over the last five years, I’ve found my glasses have escaped my awareness, at times. I find them, dust them, put them on. I purposely seek the good.
Over the last three years, I’ve had to use duct tape on my rose-colored, war-weary glasses. I put them on and pray to find a snippet of goodness.

Sidebar: I began to wonder where social media, and the inundation of information factored into this negativity. Were we always this EVIL, DECEITFUL, DUPLICITOUS, FOUL, DISMISSIVE, DIVISIVE, DISHONORABLE, HORRIBLE, EVIL, HEINOUS, UNCARING, ARROGANT, BOASTFUL, EVIL, UNGODLY, WARMONGER-ISH (Yes, I made up a word. If Betsy DeVoss is education secretary, I can create words), DISENFRANCHISED, FAKE, PHONY, ANGRY?

Over the last year, I’ve found that my patience became shorter, my mood more foul than pleasant, and I kept repeating the phrase, ” Awww, come ON!” My rose-colored glasses, removed from the case where they were kept, sat gingerly atop my nose, red from crying, as my search for goodness elicits more sad tears, than happy results.

Over the last few months, I’ve lost more and more faith in the human race. Not by the day, but by the minute. Not just on a macro level, but micro, too. Shock and anger have been replaced with heavy sighs. Numbness has set in. The absolute worst is the expectation of the day.

Hey! Where the heck did these glasses come from? Huh. Must have worn them once. Back in the junk drawer with ya.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

What are your goals for the new year? Have you started your vision board?

What are the things most important to you? Family, Faith, Politics, Career, Love, Financial Stability?

Drop a note. Let me know what you’re doing, and what changes you’d like to see (personal, professional, political, policy, etc.) in 2018!

One of my goals is to unleash my creativity. No more stifling my imagination. Stay-tuned.

Reflection Time

God has been so good. He’s shown Himself to me in ways I could not have expected. Mostly because I truly surrendered to Him. He’s held me, when trembled; He’s stretched me (and still is) when I thought I wasn’t good, or smart enough; He’s humbled me, when I thought I was in control; He’s given me joy, and peace, in the midst of my grief; He’s blessed me beyond anything I deserve. He steadies me, when I falter; He’s teaching me obedience, and self-worth, without arrogance; He’s met me in His Word. He’s made me understand what our Elders meant, when they would say, “try Him for yourself”. I have. It’s glorious. It’s tough. It’s wondrous. I’m less impatient, as I realize His timing is perfect. God IS the ultimate promise keeper. I am grateful. All that I do MUST BE ORDAINED BY GOD!

I’ve been reminded, yet again this year, that everything is temporal. If there’s ANYONE I’ve hurt, disrespected, angered, ticked off, let’s get it resolved. Inbox, email, call, semaphore… I know how to hear, listen and apologize.

I look forward to what God has in store, as I desire to move, and live in His will.
That said, I pray each of you, and your families are blessed with good health (across all life domains), and with prosperity, in the new year.
#2018 #GRATEFUL #GODLEDSPIRITDRIVEN