Fibro Funnies: Episode 1

Good evening, sports fans, and welcome to the Tuesday Night Body Competition. I’m your Host, Cryss. Joining me is my every faithful personality, fifteen year veteran, and Fibromyalgia expert, Chrissie.

Cryss: Good evening, Chrissie. What an exciting evening.

Cryss: Chrissie, you said a Dionne Warwick set of teeth mouthful ( what?). Just about everyone who’s ANYONE is here and they’ve come to play.

Chrissie: Oh, yeah. This has been brewing since Crystal made an unscheduled grocery store run, and didn’t use a scooter (Gasp!).

Cryss: Ruh-roh. In a post grocery interview, I asked if it was a wise decision. Crystal said, emphatically, that she WOULD NOT cower to Fibromyalgia.

Chrissie: Gutsy move, but let’s get to the action.

Tonite, The C.J. Body Parts are taking on the Aspercreme Heating Pads, to see who can hurt, swell, or become detached from its usual place, with the most ferocity vs. I can take it, I’m God’s child, with a prescription.

Cryss: Do you think the backup meds will be a factor, tonite? They’ve been successful before, but have been riding the bench, intermittently, due to non compliance issues. Remains to be seen.

Chrissie: I know the hip is gonna go hard, but the ribs are the wild card, so don’t count them out.

Cryss: Those knees? Now, they’re veterans; they can stay in the patella pocket and cause swelling, or run and slide.
Gotta have double coverage (heat and ice) on the neck, clavicle, and shoulder. They are very talented. The neck can get off the edge, to the shoulder, with quickness like I’ve never seen. Clavicle is just soft. You look at him and he swells AND turns red. He doesn’t play the position with verve.

Chrissie: Indeed, but, the Kankles are pretty reliable. They definitely give different looks: bilateral pitted edema, golf ball look on the side, which really wreaks havoc on the interior cute shoe, and, of course, they shrink, when going to the doctor.

Cryss: We MUST factor in the king-sized heating pad, and the Aspercreme. They’ve added lidocaine to their defense, a veteran loner, out of WALMART State Pharmacy aisle.

Chrissie: The back up, Ultram (Tramadol) has been successful at getting to the nerves, and sacking them. But there’s still the issue of sleep.

This is going to be one heck of a nite! No commercials. Good luck and stay tuned.

Now, the national anthem:

Oh, dang, did you see
How my left knee collapsed,
And I fell to the ground,
Grabbing any thing in sight.

Saw some folks standing there.
They were laughing at me.
Not a one offered help!
Lucky I can’t reach that weave.

And they let me let lay there
With my hands in the air
Which proves I was right
That you folks ain’t worth…

I guess I’d better get up
Be-fo-ore I.I ge-et ro-obbed (high note-hold, do runs)
For li- it-tle I’ve GOT (really high note, then breath)
And I split someone’s
(dramatic pause)
WIGGGGGGGG!🎤🎼🎶

P.S. Can’t take a knee, as I have no meniscus, but love u Kaep.

Fibro Funnies ©2018

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HAPPY NEW YEAR

What are your goals for the new year? Have you started your vision board?

What are the things most important to you? Family, Faith, Politics, Career, Love, Financial Stability?

Drop a note. Let me know what you’re doing, and what changes you’d like to see (personal, professional, political, policy, etc.) in 2018!

One of my goals is to unleash my creativity. No more stifling my imagination. Stay-tuned.

Three Ways Chronic Illness is Isolating 

Very important information, for those who suffer chronic pain, illnesses. For those who do not, please read, and help us spread awareness. Thank you

https://www.myfibroteam.com/resources/three-ways-chronic-illness-is-isolating

Mondays,  UGHHH

​Mondays…..
Great Monday morning, FBF. God has afforded us another opportunity to live,  breathe, move-we’re healthy in some way; or senses are intact; we are (for the most part-lol) in our right mind; we have food, shelter, and clothing;many of us our own transportation, or a means to access it; or Spouses/Partners, Children, Parents,  Siblings,  Friends,  Business Acqaintences, bless God, they are with us. Look at this beautiful fall weather!

Where is she headed TODAY? Glad you asked. When I was on that daily grind of 7am-8pm, then school afterward,  I DESPISED MONDAYS. I felt like Charlie Brown every time Lucy moved that ball, when he tried to kick it,  “UGGGHHHH”. My Monday mornings usually began with a call about work, before I even got there. Someone saying,  “reroute yourself”, because blah, blah, blah happened. That’s when I would fall back on my pillow, and dream of my 17,500 sq. ft. residence; of horseback riding across my 150 acres, and then a refreshing dip in my 25m pool, at my home off the coast of Amalfi, Italy. Dragging out of the bed,  if I ever got to sleep at all, stumping my baby toe (lawd, that hurts)…..my favorite phrase was “let the games begin”.

Even though I believe the week begins on Sunday,  Mondays were always my nemesis. The day that set the tone for the entire week. I booked reservations to be tired by Wednesday , and was begging for Friday,  by Thursday morning.   

I love Mondays, now. Not because of the difference in my work, schedule, or responsibilities. Certainly not because pain, and immobility have decided to leave the building; no, none of that. Because I NOW recognize the great LOVE and Mercy of God hitting the RESET button on my life, yet again😀. It doesn’t matter what day it is,  there is someone,  somewhere, He called home, and it wasn’t me. There’s someone, somewhere who slept outside, or in a car last night (maybe with their kids), and it wasn’t me; there’s someone, somewhere with NO job to go to, nothing to do,  no HOPE, no family to say “good morning” to (do people make time for that anymore?); sick in mind, sick unto death, sick or dead in the spirit; someone doesn’t remember who they are, nor do they know their loved ones; someone,  somewhere, is planning suicide,  or attempting,  as we communicate (God have mercy); it’s NOT ME. 

My body may be doing its own thing, but it’s SO much better than it was yesterday. I may not be able to do what i used to do,  but God is showing me I still have value  and can contribute to blessing His people.  THAT’S SO AWESOME  I’m obviously alive, and functioning well enough to blog. So many blessings; ones I’m not even aware of….and I used to be SOOOO mad about Mondays. 
Welcome, Monday!!!!!  Thank You, Lord, for another day. I commit to doing Your Will, with gratitude. It is my prayer that, at the end of the day, I’ve done, said, prayed for someone, etc., so your waking me will not be in vain. 

Have a great/grateful day,  and be safe.