Musical Musings 5/20/2016

Evening Musings: 

I’ve been staring out the window at night a lot, of late. The sky replete with her wondrous and vivid mysteries. Our clandestine meetings…. Playing coy with her shades, her colors,  muted, but breathtaking. Teasing. Beckoning. Speaking.  What will she tell me, tonight? 

The moon shouted my name across a cloud,  reaching me as a whisper,  saying things; haunting things; beautiful things. “What is music? “, I dared ask. It was the question on my mind. A star twinkled, and made a discernible sound- the voice of a small child’s glorious giggle, peeking around the seemingly vanished embers of the sun. 

“You tell me?” The voice searing lightly across  constellations had countered. I searched my cerebral Thesaurus. I needed intelligent, mystical verbiage for this conversation,  but nothing. “Come on! You’re smarter than this”, Crystal said to Cryss. I acquiesced, thinking, “maybe not”.  The thing I love, the thing I crave,  the thing that is…. I can’t find the words. The lexicon I’ve loved had failed me. 

A silent and melodic breeze played my vertical blinds like Brahms’ Lullaby. Lillith perched angrily by, a silenced Banshee, still stewing over the one she couldn’t get. The one covered in the Blood. 

It started in my chest.  A tickling,  as buzzing sensation. Working its way through every nerve,  every pore, every fiber; bone, cartilage,  sinew-  flowing like liquid joy.

You see, I was singing all along. We were singing a harmonious duet.  Ah, sky,  there’s your answer.  See you tomorrow night.

Vizionairee Jones-2016

Rain, With A Chance of Happy

The rain beckons me like a siren

One only I hear

Each drop a musical note

The showers a melody

Drench me in harmonies

Envelope me, blessed downpour

As I dance joyously, face toward the heavens

Soaking wet, simply happy
Vizionairee  2016

STAY. JUST STAY!

Image

Random Musings and Bronchitis

​Random Musings, while fighting annual Bronchitis.

Those of you who exercise, walk, run, swim, etc., understand when I say I’ve hit the wall. Perhaps it’s this fever, and the lack of O2 in my lungs, but I feel like my mental, and emotional gas tanks are empty.

Fortunately, I’ve been known to run on fumes. 

Swimming and Figure Skating, sometimes on the same day, holding down a weekday, and weekend job, and still going to school, acting, singing, etc. Work, grad school, two businesses, blah, blah, blah. FUMES!

I remember being on the BCC swim team, like it was yesterday. I SUCKED! (LOL-SORRY, GUYS) My AWESOME teammates NEVER let me feel that way. NOT ONCE. During a meet, they would yell, scream, and cheer me right into fourth place (if I was lucky), like I’d won the race. I was swimming on their energy. When I got out of the pool, I got hugs, high fives, etc. It made me wanna go harder, and faster. I wanted them to know IT MATTERED, that THEY MATTERED to me, too. Every once in a while, I’d look up in the bleachers, at practice, and see my Daddy (between jobs), had come to watch. He saw me come in third at the MSA’s, too. He picked me up and hugged me, afterward, saying, “that’s Daddy’s Baby!”. One of his MANY sacrifices.

My Mom was at every play, recital, PTA MEETING, etc. There used to be an outdoor ice rink in downtown Baltimore, at the BGE building, on Lexington and Liberty Streets. One night, my Mom and I were downtown, it had to be 32°, 25°, with the wind chill, but the rink was empty, and open for business. I BEGGED, “PLEASE, MOMMA, JUST FIVE MINUTES. I’ve never been on the ice alone”. So, my Mom, with her thin coat, no gloves, no hat, in the freezing wind of downtown, let me skate for over an hour. It was the most amazing feeling of natural freedom I’ve ever experienced. Just me, no coat, wind in my hair, sailing across the ice. I recall doing a perfect spiral (finally), and I heard her saying, “Oh, Baby, that’s beautiful. I didn’t know you could do THAT! So graceful”. I think I even managed my first toe loop, too. I practiced even harder, after that night. Inspired!

Momma was frozen, when we finally got home. ME? I was as happy as a butcher’s dog. She said she’d never seen me “let loose”, and just skate, and that it was beautiful to watch. Our happiness. She also said that was the cause of my annual Bronchitis, me skating with no coat.  It was worth it. My version of the Olympic Dream. One of MANY examples of her sacrifice.

Well, I got thinking that any time I was running on fumes, one, or both of my parents were there to cheer me on. Someone was ALWAYS there, saying “You can do it…. just a little further… Try it…”  Things have certainly changed. I’m older, have more trepidations, my parents, and my Fred are with the Lord…. No cheers, just fumes. 

So, how does one keep going? How do u just jump, sans net? Moreover, why is it so easy to figure things for others, and not yourself.

God is now, and had ALWAYS BEEN my greatest inspiration. He loves me more than anyone, wants me to be happy, and can refuel my tank like nothing else. He places amazing people in my life. So, what’s the problem? What’s the point, Cryss? 

Glean what u will. Told u it was random musings. Should u get anything, know that I’ve always got enough to cheer you on, even if it’s fumes. Thanks to those who’ve patted my back, even when I didn’t realize.

Peace

“As wind carries our prayers for earth and all life,

may respect and love light our way.

May our hearts be filled with compassion

for others and for ourselves.

May peace increase on Earth.

May it begin with me…”

~ Tibetan prayer

Peace

​”As wind carries our prayers for earth and all life,

may respect and love light our way.

May our hearts be filled with compassion

for others and for ourselves.

May peace increase on Earth.

May it begin with me…”

~ Tibetan prayer

Random Musings About What I’ve Learned in 2016

​I’ve learned quite a bit, this year.  QUITE A BIT!

GOD LOVES ME MORE THAN MY FINITE MIND CAN COMPREHEND! 

I am valuable. Go figure.

Quiet has a most beautiful melody.

Life is short, so cherish and make time for those whom you care about. 

Pain has depths unknown, and unfathomable variations.

I’m getting my “weird” back. I love it. 

Never allow your peace to be disturbed…. AT ANY COST.

Don’t allow others’ behaviors, responses, expectations, etc.,  change your character. 

Transparency can save lives.

When you are most broken, God can really work on and in you. 

Humans are full of surprises.

Humans can be so predictable.

It’s okay to be happy. Stop waiting for the other shoe to drop, or it will.

When God prepares you for something, He has to purge you, mold you, bend you, stretch you, shape you…… Not always pretty, sometimes quite painful, always enlighteningly wondrous, and definitely necessary.

WHEW, 2016! Whew!

I AM CHANGED! I AM EVOLVING! I don’t have to explain, defend, or apologize for it.

I have NO IDEA what God has in store for me, in 2017, and that’s okay. He’ll show me.

Whatever it is, I’m ready, Lord. Empty me, that I might be a vessel.  Humble me, that You get the glory, and Your people are blessed. USE ME TO DO THY WILL.

It is my prayer that whatever it is that He has me do, will cause a ripple effect of blessings that we’ve not seen the likes of.

I’m praying the same for each of you. That you will receive an overflow of blessings, find peace and joy, and pay it forward. 

I love u all, no strings attached.