Musical Musings 5/20/2016

Evening Musings: 

I’ve been staring out the window at night a lot, of late. The sky replete with her wondrous and vivid mysteries. Our clandestine meetings…. Playing coy with her shades, her colors,  muted, but breathtaking. Teasing. Beckoning. Speaking.  What will she tell me, tonight? 

The moon shouted my name across a cloud,  reaching me as a whisper,  saying things; haunting things; beautiful things. “What is music? “, I dared ask. It was the question on my mind. A star twinkled, and made a discernible sound- the voice of a small child’s glorious giggle, peeking around the seemingly vanished embers of the sun. 

“You tell me?” The voice searing lightly across  constellations had countered. I searched my cerebral Thesaurus. I needed intelligent, mystical verbiage for this conversation,  but nothing. “Come on! You’re smarter than this”, Crystal said to Cryss. I acquiesced, thinking, “maybe not”.  The thing I love, the thing I crave,  the thing that is…. I can’t find the words. The lexicon I’ve loved had failed me. 

A silent and melodic breeze played my vertical blinds like Brahms’ Lullaby. Lillith perched angrily by, a silenced Banshee, still stewing over the one she couldn’t get. The one covered in the Blood. 

It started in my chest.  A tickling,  as buzzing sensation. Working its way through every nerve,  every pore, every fiber; bone, cartilage,  sinew-  flowing like liquid joy.

You see, I was singing all along. We were singing a harmonious duet.  Ah, sky,  there’s your answer.  See you tomorrow night.

Vizionairee Jones-2016

An Abusive Shadow

On fighting my shadow:

It wins. It always wins.

How is that possible? What does my shadow know of me, that it can strategize so well? How does it render me helpless with such ease?

The punches are brutal. Fast. Quick. Painful. Lingering. 

My shadow smiles knowingly; teasing, bullying, taunting….

Sometimes, I don’t even fight back.

Peace

“As wind carries our prayers for earth and all life,

may respect and love light our way.

May our hearts be filled with compassion

for others and for ourselves.

May peace increase on Earth.

May it begin with me…”

~ Tibetan prayer

Farewell, Obama 

​So, it’s taken me months to figure what I should say, concerning the end of the Obama Presidency. Nothing in my head. Go figure, a Writer with no words. So, I went to my lover- MUSIC. 

“CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SON

THERE’LL BE PEACE, WHEN YOU ARE DONE

LAY YOUR WEARY HEAD TO REST

DON’T-CHA CRY NO MORE…..”
CARRY ON, YOU WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER, CARRY ON

NOTHING EQUALS THIS MADNESS

NOW, YOUR LIFE’S NO LONGER EMPTY

SURELY HEAVEN WAITS FOR YOU…”

Thank you, Barack Hussein Obama, and family. I remember openly weeping, on the day of your inauguration, and having someone ask me why. Why? Because I saw Jessie Jackson weeping, and knew he was remembering standing two/three feet away, as a bullet ripped through the face and head of Dr. King. I wept because I NEVER thought I’d see it, in my lifetime.  Because, Michelle Obama is not just your wife, mother of your children, and awesome FLOTUS, but A LADY. Our girls need to see those examples. Because of Dr. King, John Lewis, Rev. Ralph Abernathy, Andrew Young, Jessie Jackson, Freedom Fighters, Abolitionists, Harriet Tubman, Frederick Douglass, Thurgood Marshall…. Because of each and every person, who’s name never made the paper, or the news, or the history books. Because we may never see the likes again. 

Because my Mommiekins lived to see it. A Woman who used to have to enter establishments through back doors, if she were allowed in, at all.

I’ve always understood citizenship, intellectually. I’ve cried because of things said, and done to me, because of the color of my skin. Sometimes, it was so subtle, I wasn’t even aware. 

Make no mistake, I’m scrappy, like my Mommiekins. Injustice does not sit well with me, AT ALL. A pen and some paper in my hands….

Back then, my Mommiekins went TO the fight. She began the dialogue. She knew every local government phone number that began with 396 (lol). Mostly alone, she called wrote and didn’t let up until she’d affected change. I often stayed at home wondering why she would risk her health like that. She made me go with her many times, ignoring my ire. Freezing cold, at Annapolis. Downtown, Uptown. Talking to Councilmen and Women. Still didn’t GET IT. She said we elected them, now they have to do their jobs.

I GET IT, MOMMIEKINS. Thank you. It is now, in my heart, and will always manifest itself in my actions. 

That’s why I cried then, that’s why I cry now.

Barack Obama, Carry on, Sir.

“Carry On Wayward Son” – Kansas

Peace

​”As wind carries our prayers for earth and all life,

may respect and love light our way.

May our hearts be filled with compassion

for others and for ourselves.

May peace increase on Earth.

May it begin with me…”

~ Tibetan prayer

Dream

​dream free, dream long, 12 minutes no law, move, glide, twist and turn, blow out the candles of restraint and live above the clouds, work the glimpse of heaven you get, come back full of music with notes unheard, smiling the smile of the knowing, but the humility of the just out of reach, oohhhh, feel the breeze of dreams…..

Vizionairee – 9/28/2010

I’m In Love

I don’t usually get super personal on FB, but…. I’m in love. It’s such a heady and beautiful feeling. I’ve been swept off of my feet. A gift from God, no doubt. Gosh, I’m blushing. 

Anyway….

We’ve known each other all our lives. Save for GOD, he’s actually, my first love. A part of my DNA, I suppose. Yet, I let him go. Not all at once, just a drifting of sorts, you know… until there’s nothing.

Life happens, you grow apart, you have different experiences, but you NEVER forget. You just can’t seem to forget. 

Those moments that creep up, when you least expect. You think of him, and hairs on the back of your neck stand out, because you’re taken by splendid surprise. Your knees are weak, and you close your eyes, just for a moment. Your senses transport you back to… back there, back then; at that time, in that space. You literally feel, hear, see, and smell EVERYTHING, just like it was. 

Then, you put it out of your mind. 

Maybe, when it rains, and you remember – droplets landing on your skin, creating perfect rhythms, to which you danced joyously- carelessly. You composed songs no one heard, but the two of you. Then you put it out of your mind. You have to, right?

Funny thing. When God has a plan for you, it WILL come to fruition. 

A visit, or two. Randomly ( no such thing) having to come in contact with one another, for this reason, or that. Chit chat that turns to talk, and then to conversation.  Quiet glances turn to meaningful stares. Feeling the past and present collide, and knowing a future was inevitable. Being grateful.

I am most fortunate to have been afforded the opportunity to be joined with my love, once again. I’m never letting go. Where we’ll go together? Well, I’ll leave that to God. For all we’ve done in the past, this is new, and scary, and glorious. 

We’re in this for the duration, and I’m happy, again. 

Music, I love you.