My Exquisite Pain

Daylight chased me, again

Caught me Juggling universes in my head,

So I put it upon the pillow to rest

It was sweet, and awful, and blameless, and contrary.

Red hot fire, and sun.

Candy coated relief, sweetness suckled.

What an illusion!

The chase continued, undeterred.

Goose down and feathered warmth

Provided no security from the psychic soldiers.

Planetary casualties, abound, and lying around, beseeched me.

Why won’t you fight for me?
The hairs on my neck singed,

I’d been caught, again. Hope for rain.

Who could have known

My universes were so vast, so quick to replicate?

Juggle, juggle, spin the plates.

Red hot fire, and sun.

I beckon you today, with whispered invitations that shout.

“How exquisite you are, my pain”.

I shall carry YOU for awhile

In all my beautiful agony, in all your effete arrogance .

I dance inside the raindrops, searing and cheering.

Daylight in my crosshairs.

Vizionairee

©2017

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An Abusive Shadow

On fighting my shadow:

It wins. It always wins.

How is that possible? What does my shadow know of me, that it can strategize so well? How does it render me helpless with such ease?

The punches are brutal. Fast. Quick. Painful. Lingering. 

My shadow smiles knowingly; teasing, bullying, taunting….

Sometimes, I don’t even fight back.

I’m In Love

I don’t usually get super personal on FB, but…. I’m in love. It’s such a heady and beautiful feeling. I’ve been swept off of my feet. A gift from God, no doubt. Gosh, I’m blushing. 

Anyway….

We’ve known each other all our lives. Save for GOD, he’s actually, my first love. A part of my DNA, I suppose. Yet, I let him go. Not all at once, just a drifting of sorts, you know… until there’s nothing.

Life happens, you grow apart, you have different experiences, but you NEVER forget. You just can’t seem to forget. 

Those moments that creep up, when you least expect. You think of him, and hairs on the back of your neck stand out, because you’re taken by splendid surprise. Your knees are weak, and you close your eyes, just for a moment. Your senses transport you back to… back there, back then; at that time, in that space. You literally feel, hear, see, and smell EVERYTHING, just like it was. 

Then, you put it out of your mind. 

Maybe, when it rains, and you remember – droplets landing on your skin, creating perfect rhythms, to which you danced joyously- carelessly. You composed songs no one heard, but the two of you. Then you put it out of your mind. You have to, right?

Funny thing. When God has a plan for you, it WILL come to fruition. 

A visit, or two. Randomly ( no such thing) having to come in contact with one another, for this reason, or that. Chit chat that turns to talk, and then to conversation.  Quiet glances turn to meaningful stares. Feeling the past and present collide, and knowing a future was inevitable. Being grateful.

I am most fortunate to have been afforded the opportunity to be joined with my love, once again. I’m never letting go. Where we’ll go together? Well, I’ll leave that to God. For all we’ve done in the past, this is new, and scary, and glorious. 

We’re in this for the duration, and I’m happy, again. 

Music, I love you.

The Beautiful Distraction

The Beautiful Distraction
Calm to my frenetic pace,

Speeding through my hiding space;

You’re a beautiful distraction.
Slow dance in the rain,

Raindrops soothing private pain;

You’re the single attraction.
When I run you let me,

Because I’m standing still.

Days into nights; again to day-

Empty spaces not known, you fill.
Stories NEVER  to be told,

Unravel, unchain; they unfold;

You’re a dream into action.
Searing windswept graces,

Hearts with smiles upon their faces;

You’re my psyche’s passion.
When I stumble and fall,

While I’m learning to feel;

Stopping, starting, open wounds,

Gentle spirit, your balm, it heals.
You’re my beautiful distraction

You’re my beautiful distraction

You are my beautiful….

    Distraction.


Vizionairee

12/4/2016

Curiosity

So, I’m obviously kinda nosy, since I’m gonna ask this question:  What’s on your nightstand?  What is, or are the item(s) that you MUST have in arms reach, every night?  Could you turn it into a short story, or maybe a song?  What about a poem?

One would think since I asked, that I would answer.  Thing is, no one asked me.  Hehehehe.

Can’t wait to hear from you.

#JustWryte

Mondays,  UGHHH

​Mondays…..
Great Monday morning, FBF. God has afforded us another opportunity to live,  breathe, move-we’re healthy in some way; or senses are intact; we are (for the most part-lol) in our right mind; we have food, shelter, and clothing;many of us our own transportation, or a means to access it; or Spouses/Partners, Children, Parents,  Siblings,  Friends,  Business Acqaintences, bless God, they are with us. Look at this beautiful fall weather!

Where is she headed TODAY? Glad you asked. When I was on that daily grind of 7am-8pm, then school afterward,  I DESPISED MONDAYS. I felt like Charlie Brown every time Lucy moved that ball, when he tried to kick it,  “UGGGHHHH”. My Monday mornings usually began with a call about work, before I even got there. Someone saying,  “reroute yourself”, because blah, blah, blah happened. That’s when I would fall back on my pillow, and dream of my 17,500 sq. ft. residence; of horseback riding across my 150 acres, and then a refreshing dip in my 25m pool, at my home off the coast of Amalfi, Italy. Dragging out of the bed,  if I ever got to sleep at all, stumping my baby toe (lawd, that hurts)…..my favorite phrase was “let the games begin”.

Even though I believe the week begins on Sunday,  Mondays were always my nemesis. The day that set the tone for the entire week. I booked reservations to be tired by Wednesday , and was begging for Friday,  by Thursday morning.   

I love Mondays, now. Not because of the difference in my work, schedule, or responsibilities. Certainly not because pain, and immobility have decided to leave the building; no, none of that. Because I NOW recognize the great LOVE and Mercy of God hitting the RESET button on my life, yet again😀. It doesn’t matter what day it is,  there is someone,  somewhere, He called home, and it wasn’t me. There’s someone, somewhere who slept outside, or in a car last night (maybe with their kids), and it wasn’t me; there’s someone, somewhere with NO job to go to, nothing to do,  no HOPE, no family to say “good morning” to (do people make time for that anymore?); sick in mind, sick unto death, sick or dead in the spirit; someone doesn’t remember who they are, nor do they know their loved ones; someone,  somewhere, is planning suicide,  or attempting,  as we communicate (God have mercy); it’s NOT ME. 

My body may be doing its own thing, but it’s SO much better than it was yesterday. I may not be able to do what i used to do,  but God is showing me I still have value  and can contribute to blessing His people.  THAT’S SO AWESOME  I’m obviously alive, and functioning well enough to blog. So many blessings; ones I’m not even aware of….and I used to be SOOOO mad about Mondays. 
Welcome, Monday!!!!!  Thank You, Lord, for another day. I commit to doing Your Will, with gratitude. It is my prayer that, at the end of the day, I’ve done, said, prayed for someone, etc., so your waking me will not be in vain. 

Have a great/grateful day,  and be safe.