STAY. JUST STAY!

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Peace

“As wind carries our prayers for earth and all life,

may respect and love light our way.

May our hearts be filled with compassion

for others and for ourselves.

May peace increase on Earth.

May it begin with me…”

~ Tibetan prayer

Peace

​”As wind carries our prayers for earth and all life,

may respect and love light our way.

May our hearts be filled with compassion

for others and for ourselves.

May peace increase on Earth.

May it begin with me…”

~ Tibetan prayer

I’m In Love

I don’t usually get super personal on FB, but…. I’m in love. It’s such a heady and beautiful feeling. I’ve been swept off of my feet. A gift from God, no doubt. Gosh, I’m blushing. 

Anyway….

We’ve known each other all our lives. Save for GOD, he’s actually, my first love. A part of my DNA, I suppose. Yet, I let him go. Not all at once, just a drifting of sorts, you know… until there’s nothing.

Life happens, you grow apart, you have different experiences, but you NEVER forget. You just can’t seem to forget. 

Those moments that creep up, when you least expect. You think of him, and hairs on the back of your neck stand out, because you’re taken by splendid surprise. Your knees are weak, and you close your eyes, just for a moment. Your senses transport you back to… back there, back then; at that time, in that space. You literally feel, hear, see, and smell EVERYTHING, just like it was. 

Then, you put it out of your mind. 

Maybe, when it rains, and you remember – droplets landing on your skin, creating perfect rhythms, to which you danced joyously- carelessly. You composed songs no one heard, but the two of you. Then you put it out of your mind. You have to, right?

Funny thing. When God has a plan for you, it WILL come to fruition. 

A visit, or two. Randomly ( no such thing) having to come in contact with one another, for this reason, or that. Chit chat that turns to talk, and then to conversation.  Quiet glances turn to meaningful stares. Feeling the past and present collide, and knowing a future was inevitable. Being grateful.

I am most fortunate to have been afforded the opportunity to be joined with my love, once again. I’m never letting go. Where we’ll go together? Well, I’ll leave that to God. For all we’ve done in the past, this is new, and scary, and glorious. 

We’re in this for the duration, and I’m happy, again. 

Music, I love you.

The “24-hour” Perspective, and The Clock

SUPERNATURAL

In my quest to be a better steward over the time that God has seen fit to give me, I cut back on my television time. I wanted to devote more time to reading His Word, communing in that space with Him, hearing from Him.

Even in doing so, I began to feel distracted, unfocused, disconnected, and lost. I was reading, praying, meditating, but not connecting. So restless, and of a useless, frenetic energy. Unproductive. It was driving me bonkers. I found myself wandering through my days, going through the motions, numb. What had I done to unplug myself from God, as He never, ever let’s go of us (see Romans 8:38-39).

NATURAL

I’ve been in pugilist mode with nearly every company from whom I receive tech services. Cell phones burning, apps disappearing, and internet/double billing woes, abound. I’ve literally clocked the equivalent of approximately two months worth of hours on the phone, live chats, and in-person problem-solving adventures. No More! I divorced my cable company, and got my cellular folks straight (sorta-stay-tuned), with the help of the FCC, in both cases. Check. You can only poke this Scorpio bear but so much, before she comes out of hibernation, SWINGING😡.

Well, in every battle, there are casualties. Mine? No Wi-Fi, no phone line, no TV, no problem.  I’ll simply change carriers. I will NOT be held hostage. Well, here’s the thing: only two carriers that provide the desired services, in my area (what kind of tech dead zone am I in?); the one I divorced, and the one I left, to go to the one I just divorced. Check and Mate, right? Undaunted, albeit a bit dented, I said, “OK, I needed more time with GOD anyway, I’ve much to do, and my cell has a mobile hotspot, right?”  I was also introduced to ROKU, so, when I wanna look at TV, I will. Well, 4GLTE is not Wi-Fi. It reverts to 3G, when utilizing other devices, or third party apps. Been buffering so much, a 30 minute Boxing match took almost an hour. I was ready to throw in the towel, and stop the fight. So, I let it just fade to the screensaver, which is an analog clock, that counts hours, minutes, seconds.

After a few days, it really started messing with my mind, this clock. I felt like I was literally watching a countdown of my life… tick-tock. tick-tock. Lord, what am I to do? I’m feeling lost and unfocused. Time is just ticking away, and I’m being wasteful.I did nothing.

SUPERNATURAL

Yesterday, was both physically, and Spiritually rough. I was, and always am, GRATEFUL for all that I am, all that I have, and surely God’s love, grace, and mercy. Fibromyalgia showed out, since it was raining, and I had new body parts deciding to get in on the fun. Gave in to that, too, for a minute (nice try). My Spirit was just… low. Even still, I went about my day, talking to God along the way; asking this thing or that, certainly giving due praise, reading the Word (Psalms 119), etc. 

As evening drew nigh, I heard the rain. I knew it had been raining all day, as I’d been out in it. Usually, when I’m out in the rain, I turn my face toward the sky, and let it fall on me. Not today. But now, I HEARD it. It tapped out melodies the windows, the cars and streets provided harmonies, the tin drainpipe beat out a bass rhythm- all of it calling me. I turned off all the lights, cut out every sound, opened the window and answered. PURE PEACE! I reveled in it, for a time, but was inevitably drawn back to “things”. Later, I went to be bed praying that God would allow me to feel Him, again, to reconnect. To re-engage with the Spirit of my ordained purpose.

NATURAL

That doggone clock screensaver was still there, when I woke up. Fell asleep wth the TV on.

SUPERNATURAL

Today, I began my morning prayers. Gratitude, Thanksgiving, Praise. Lord, please meet me in Your Word, this morning. Give me purpose, and set me to action, making manifest the gifts you’ve bestowed upon me. All glory and honor to You. The Word for the day, in my Bible app was Psalms 42:11.

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

Hmmmm… OK, I’ll just read the whole thing, while that incessant clock is in front of me. Yes, I could have turned off the television, but it’s like I WANTED to be angry about it. This particular chapter is very short, only eleven verses. Boy, did it pack a LOT in, for me. 

As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.  My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?  My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God?  When I remember these things, I pour out my soul in me: for I had gone with the multitude, I went with them to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise, with a multitude that kept holyday.  Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.  O my God, my soul is cast down within me: therefore will I remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the Hermonites, from the hill Mizar.  Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy waterspouts: all thy waves and thy billows are gone over me.  Yet the Lord will command his lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life.  I will say unto God my rock, Why hast thou forgotten me? why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy? As with a sword in my bones, mine enemies reproach me; while they say daily unto me, Where is thy God?  Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

Wow!!!!

I looked up at the clock, and saw something new. Time wasn’t mocking me, it was calling me to the action attached to my purpose. It was saying that the loving, kind, and merciful God I serve, has given you 24 hours to do that which He has called you to do. You know what it is, as He grows it in you daily. It said that even in rain, He gave you peace; it said even as you slept, He heard You, just as He did in your waking hours; it said you see the clock today, because He gave you MORE TIME. It said even when we are uncertain about what comes next, that He’s there to lead and guide you, giving you more time. You’re still here for a reason, as evidenced by that nagging clock, at which you stare. So, stop wasting the gift of time, get about my business. Heck, you’ve got time.  

24.

Psalms 42:1‭-‬11 KJV

http://bible.com/1/psa.42.1-11.KJV

Psalms 42:11 KJV

http://bible.com/1/psa.42.11.KJV

Random Musings for A Rainy Day

​The rain beckons me like a siren

One only I hear

Each drop a musical note

The showers a melody

Drench me in harmonies

Envelope me, blessed downpour

As I dance joyously, face toward the heavens

Soaking wet, simply happy
Cryss A Jones 2016

Copyright 2016

Writer’s Block and Grace

​I’ve been trying to write for days. Song, poem, chapter, web content …. My name…. NOTHING!  Late last night, I was inspired by a phrase, during a conversation, and knocked out a few stanzas, but no more. (Thx, JB).

I’ve been feeling independently of my senses, of late. I CAN’T STAND THAT! It’s like being numb and still feeling pain. ANYWAYS….

This morning, I wandered through my home, quietly praying, asking God what He wanted me to do and, moreover, if the answer was right before me. Earlier, I shared a black and white photo of people lined up at the Baltimore City Jail to post bail, for those arrested during the 1968 riots. I engaged in a conversation with someone about why we don’t see lines like that to feed the hungry, shelter the homeless, PTA or Council meetings, etc. I also questioned whether or not I would line up for those things.

Heck, we don’t really even read anymore, we skim for specific words, to get the gist, etc. Wonder why we keep looking to the left, and the knockout punch is coming from the right. Honestly.

It really stuck with me, that photo. Men in suits, ladies in dresses and heels… Pride, commitment, sacrifice. I began to wonder if there weren’t some in line to pay bail for a neighbor, a cousin, someone they didn’t really know. Would I?

Back to the stroll around the house. (OK, I ate Thanksgiving leftovers, while contemplating). More thoughts of what an I supposed to be doing, in the greater scheme of the Kingdom of God. Then, I said “Cryss, if you can’t write, just read.” Enter Max Lucado “Shaped By Grace”. It was given to me as a gift, by a wonderful woman of valour, and I’d already read it, cover to cover. What a great blessing. I popped it open right to these passages:

***The meaning of life. The wasted years of life. The poor choices of life. God answers the mess of life with one word: grace.

We talk as if we know what grace means. Especially at Church. Grace graces the songs we sing and the Bible verses we read… Hymns proclaim it. Preachers explain it…

But do we really understand it?

… We’ve settled for a wimpy grace. It… never causes trouble or demands a response.

Have u been changed by grace? Shaped By Grace? Emboldened by grace? Softened by grace? Snatched by the nape of your neck and shaken to your sense by grace? 

… God’s grace comes after you. It rewrites you. From insecure to God secure. From regret-riddled to better-because-of-it….

Grace is the voice that calls us to change and then gives us the power to pull it off! (Lucado).

Back to the photo. Well, grace got me focused this morning. It said, “Cryss, it’s not that you can’t write, but you’re not writing what God needs you to write, right now.” Huh? Gwen Ifill’s legacy; your love for Journalism; the fact that you prefer writing to typing/texting, etc.; the fact that you still have stamps and envelopes, and you write to people; the fact that you love to read and research (find the facts); the fact that you feel the sprit of everyone in that picture;  the fact that every elected official had a USPS address, and you’re a hyper puppy, when writing (can u say bulk mail?); that you ALWAYS say a well-written and articulate letter can be very effective…. WOW! RIGHT IN MY FACE.

I may not be able to stand in a line, YET (beat it, fibro), but I have more pens and pads of paper than normal, an internet connection, a STELLAR BCC education,. SUPER intelligent and gifted folks all around me, and a heart for humanity. All that, AND GRACE…. It’s on.

Thank you, Lord, for not only giving me purpose and grace and mercy, but for renewing it daily.

There are too many issues out there that need to be tackled. If I can write a long post like this, or a funny joke, or post a news story I’m outraged about, it’s time I get into action. 

My action may not be there same as yours. Maybe you’ll go to council meetings, maybe you serve on the board of a change agency, maybe you have money to donate (DON’T FORGET #USA4Cryss lol), maybe you mentor and coach, maybe show up at schools regularly, randomly; not to police, but help…I don’t know, but it’s time for ME to stop letting the buck stop here in my Facebook feed. Care to join me? I’ve got plenty of writing utensils. Love u guys.

P.S. If I “disappear”, or anything else funky sounding, I finally wrote the right letter. FIND THE STORY. 😉