Remembrances 

Writing feels so good.  Been ages since I’ve written a poem, a song,  anything AD CAUSA. I feel both renewed and infantile -regaining some things, exploring uncharted territory . Letting go of some things that I’ve gripped so tightly,  for so long,  my metaphorical fingers have been crushed, bones decimated.

Learning to grab hold to new things with new hands.  Allowing my third eye to truly see, as it should,  sans fear of what it sees.

Guillaume Apollonaire wrote,  “Come to the edge, he said. They said: We are afraid. Come to the edge, he said. They came. He pushed them and they flew.”

   Indeed they did – so shall I.
I would be remiss if I retired this evening without thanking my Lord, my Savior,  my Redeemer, my Mighty Fortress; Jesus, The Christ. I am so very blessed. God grants me favor, and consistently DEMONSTRATES HIS unconditional love; even when I’m compellingly, overtly unworthy. He is the Great Orchestrator,  and I am humbled to be one of the many instruments He uses to create the music that is the human experience. 

We are each our own instruments, and our parts have been composed, created, and imagined, just for us. We play with different styles, as we’ve been taught/learned in different ways.  However, there can be no complete song,  no masterpiece,  no melodies,  no harmonies, no triumphant finale…… if we don’t realize were even playing the same song-the song of pure love,  one,  for another. 

Vizionairee 2016

Random Musings and Bronchitis

​Random Musings, while fighting annual Bronchitis.

Those of you who exercise, walk, run, swim, etc., understand when I say I’ve hit the wall. Perhaps it’s this fever, and the lack of O2 in my lungs, but I feel like my mental, and emotional gas tanks are empty.

Fortunately, I’ve been known to run on fumes. 

Swimming and Figure Skating, sometimes on the same day, holding down a weekday, and weekend job, and still going to school, acting, singing, etc. Work, grad school, two businesses, blah, blah, blah. FUMES!

I remember being on the BCC swim team, like it was yesterday. I SUCKED! (LOL-SORRY, GUYS) My AWESOME teammates NEVER let me feel that way. NOT ONCE. During a meet, they would yell, scream, and cheer me right into fourth place (if I was lucky), like I’d won the race. I was swimming on their energy. When I got out of the pool, I got hugs, high fives, etc. It made me wanna go harder, and faster. I wanted them to know IT MATTERED, that THEY MATTERED to me, too. Every once in a while, I’d look up in the bleachers, at practice, and see my Daddy (between jobs), had come to watch. He saw me come in third at the MSA’s, too. He picked me up and hugged me, afterward, saying, “that’s Daddy’s Baby!”. One of his MANY sacrifices.

My Mom was at every play, recital, PTA MEETING, etc. There used to be an outdoor ice rink in downtown Baltimore, at the BGE building, on Lexington and Liberty Streets. One night, my Mom and I were downtown, it had to be 32°, 25°, with the wind chill, but the rink was empty, and open for business. I BEGGED, “PLEASE, MOMMA, JUST FIVE MINUTES. I’ve never been on the ice alone”. So, my Mom, with her thin coat, no gloves, no hat, in the freezing wind of downtown, let me skate for over an hour. It was the most amazing feeling of natural freedom I’ve ever experienced. Just me, no coat, wind in my hair, sailing across the ice. I recall doing a perfect spiral (finally), and I heard her saying, “Oh, Baby, that’s beautiful. I didn’t know you could do THAT! So graceful”. I think I even managed my first toe loop, too. I practiced even harder, after that night. Inspired!

Momma was frozen, when we finally got home. ME? I was as happy as a butcher’s dog. She said she’d never seen me “let loose”, and just skate, and that it was beautiful to watch. Our happiness. She also said that was the cause of my annual Bronchitis, me skating with no coat.  It was worth it. My version of the Olympic Dream. One of MANY examples of her sacrifice.

Well, I got thinking that any time I was running on fumes, one, or both of my parents were there to cheer me on. Someone was ALWAYS there, saying “You can do it…. just a little further… Try it…”  Things have certainly changed. I’m older, have more trepidations, my parents, and my Fred are with the Lord…. No cheers, just fumes. 

So, how does one keep going? How do u just jump, sans net? Moreover, why is it so easy to figure things for others, and not yourself.

God is now, and had ALWAYS BEEN my greatest inspiration. He loves me more than anyone, wants me to be happy, and can refuel my tank like nothing else. He places amazing people in my life. So, what’s the problem? What’s the point, Cryss? 

Glean what u will. Told u it was random musings. Should u get anything, know that I’ve always got enough to cheer you on, even if it’s fumes. Thanks to those who’ve patted my back, even when I didn’t realize.

A Great Gift, and The Delayed Opening: No Wrapping Required

Over a decade ago (2000-2002?), my Cousin and I were talking about his commitment to God, his new Church, and his new found love for Christ. I admitted to him that, while I attended Church frequently, prayed, tithed, etc., I never really read the Word. He suggested that I get a Life Application Bible (Tyndale). He said it really have an excellent explanation of the Word.

Maybe as much as a two years later, I was out with my Mommiekins, riding aimlessly, as we did on occasion.  We came upon a local Christian store called Lifeway.   I said, “let’s pop in and take a look”, as it had been some years for me, since I’d been. As we browsed, I recalled my conversation with my Cousin, and went looking for The Bible he suggested. Not only did I get one, but I got one for Mommiekins, too. Mine in black, hers in burgundy.

I guess you’re thinking I went home and read, and was so enlightened, my world changed, etc. Nope. I did not begin actively reading the Word until 2016. It started with the You Version Bible App on my phone. I installed it, and began to get daily verses. I started posting the ones I enjoyed most to my Facebook page. As much as I comprehended the verses, I needed to read the entire Scripture, in order to ascertain the context of the message. The more I read, the more I enjoyed, but there still existed a disconnect- How does this apply to my daily life? That’s when I remembered the Life Application Bible.

Each verse, with its explanation began to come alive for me. I could reconcile the ancient text with my everyday life. WOW! Now, I crave it. Sometimes, eerily, I feel like I’m reading a current news story, as a great many things are still the same. There are wars, and rumors of wars, false prophets, terrorism, racism, people turning away from God, and attempting to justify it with His Word….. Mommiekins was right; “there’s nothing new under the sun”. 

God’s Word is also the written manifestation of promises that will never be broken; promises of salvation, of wisdom, of peace, of joy. It’s teeming with examples of His protection, His teachings, the forgiveness of sin, through Jesus, the Christ, and of His unwavering love for each us. Each and every word, verse, chapter, and book of The Bible is the heart and soul of God. The Word is our life’s blueprint, and our battle plan for defeating the enemy. It’s the place with which He wishes to commune with us. How can we live without it? How did I, but for His Grace and Mercy?

I thank God for using my Cousin to lead me to His Word. Thank you, Cousin Glenn, for being obedient to the Holy Spirit, and mentioning the Life Application Bible, all those years ago.

I guess you’re thinking, ” well it took long enough for you to get it!,” Normally, I’d agree, except God’s timing is always perfect. Every good and perfect gift comes from God, no wrapping needed.

Vizionairee ©2017

Peace

“As wind carries our prayers for earth and all life,

may respect and love light our way.

May our hearts be filled with compassion

for others and for ourselves.

May peace increase on Earth.

May it begin with me…”

~ Tibetan prayer

Peace

​”As wind carries our prayers for earth and all life,

may respect and love light our way.

May our hearts be filled with compassion

for others and for ourselves.

May peace increase on Earth.

May it begin with me…”

~ Tibetan prayer

Random Musings For A Year’s End 2016😇

Whew, 2016! A year of wonder, discovery, pain (physical and emotional), ADULT EDUCATION (Third Eye WIDE OPEN),  brokenness, healing, release, and love. 

In about one hour, Lord’s Willing, I will make my way into the new year. I have learned so much. Some things I wanted to know, some I didn’t, but needed to know. Some relationships ended, some began, and are developing. 

I let go of SO much, and found a peace I’ve never known, and a joy I didn’t know existed. I learned that only GOD can give you that kind of peace, and only you can allow it to be disturbed. DON’T!

May 13, 2016 will ALWAYS be the day for which I am most grateful. It’s the day I got a real-time glimpse into the depths of God’s love for me. Oh, what a…. Humbling, Awesome Revelation.  Pure AWE. I learned that day, and know now, that if I were the most intelligent, smart, learned human being in the history of humans, I’d STILL not be able to comprehend the scope of God’s Love. That’s a wonder, to me. I thank Him for saving my life, that day. For reminding me that there is always HOPE.

HE’S placed such amazing people around me. Holding me up, when I didn’t know I was falling. He’s healed me in ways I CANNOT explain.

He’s unburdened me, so that I could remember what truly makes me happy. I’ve discovered new things, too.

        Writing. Music. Helping people reach their goals and see their dreams come to fruition. Connecting people that can bless each other, and it have a positive ripple effect. Laughing, really laughing. Friends. Family. Wow. Yeah. 

    God made me look into the mirror and admit things about myself. I had to become transparent before God and THAT WAS NOT EASY, OR CUTE. It was, however, necessary. I’ve learned that hypocrisy, whether intended, or not, is still hypocrisy.

      I’ve humbly, and sincerely issued a lot of apologies, this year. I have many to go. I’ve also CEASED apologizing for some things. A LOT of things. I am accountable y to God ONLY. No, that does not mean I get to act a fool, treat others poorly, or behave like I have no ” home training” (lol), etc. It does, however, mean I do not have to explain myself, constantly defend myself, and hope that everyone is comfortable with who I am. I desire that when you see me, you see God and KNOW what He can do. My character and integrity are incredibly important to me. My loyalty never wavers. Not mine to give, you EARN IT, and it’s yours to lose.

I’ve learned to take ALL things to God. I’ve learned the Awesome power of His Word, and how great it is to develop an intimate relationship with Him. I’ve been blessed by several Ministries. I’ve been blessed to have quiet time with my Father. To be still and let Him speak to me, teach me, and love on me. He doesn’t have to allow it, but He loves me, and wants time with me. Wow!

My analogy for this year’s lesson is not unlike a football game. We, the players, are out on the field, getting our butts kicked. We run to the sidelines, befuddled, asking one another, “what happened?” Well,  No one looked at the playbooks. No one studied. No one came to practice. No one worked out. No one watched game film. No one prepared for the game. No one worked WITH one another. No one made sacrifices. No one asked the one in charge. The Coach. 

God has given us EVERYTHING WE NEED, and Sooooo many of the desires of our hearts; yet we still look elsewhere, take things for granted……

Maybe I shouldn’t say “we”. Those are my observations. I’m tired of tightrope walking, without as net.

Now, enough about me. My beautiful, diverse, wonderful BCC/FBF family never ceases to amaze me. We’ve been through so much this year. It’s been pretty rough; for some it seems more than others. Even still, here we are. I’ve witnessed an outpouring of pure, selfless love; some of the funniest stuff ever (y’all gonna pay for my inhaler); proof that intercessory prayer and thoughts really make a difference; third-eye-opened education; a bond that seems to grow tighter. I am so very grateful for each of you. 

It is my prayer that in the year to come, that we continue to do what we do. Love, support, encourage, inspire, check one another (with love),  check ON one another, and keep each other smiling and laughing. May God bless each of you, and your families fully, across ALL life domains. Don’t chase your dreams, live in them. Love u all, no strings.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, Prettyface-Mommiekins, and Fred. I’m on it. No worries.

Random Musings About What I’ve Learned in 2016

​I’ve learned quite a bit, this year.  QUITE A BIT!

GOD LOVES ME MORE THAN MY FINITE MIND CAN COMPREHEND! 

I am valuable. Go figure.

Quiet has a most beautiful melody.

Life is short, so cherish and make time for those whom you care about. 

Pain has depths unknown, and unfathomable variations.

I’m getting my “weird” back. I love it. 

Never allow your peace to be disturbed…. AT ANY COST.

Don’t allow others’ behaviors, responses, expectations, etc.,  change your character. 

Transparency can save lives.

When you are most broken, God can really work on and in you. 

Humans are full of surprises.

Humans can be so predictable.

It’s okay to be happy. Stop waiting for the other shoe to drop, or it will.

When God prepares you for something, He has to purge you, mold you, bend you, stretch you, shape you…… Not always pretty, sometimes quite painful, always enlighteningly wondrous, and definitely necessary.

WHEW, 2016! Whew!

I AM CHANGED! I AM EVOLVING! I don’t have to explain, defend, or apologize for it.

I have NO IDEA what God has in store for me, in 2017, and that’s okay. He’ll show me.

Whatever it is, I’m ready, Lord. Empty me, that I might be a vessel.  Humble me, that You get the glory, and Your people are blessed. USE ME TO DO THY WILL.

It is my prayer that whatever it is that He has me do, will cause a ripple effect of blessings that we’ve not seen the likes of.

I’m praying the same for each of you. That you will receive an overflow of blessings, find peace and joy, and pay it forward. 

I love u all, no strings attached.