Fibro Funnies: Episode 1

Good evening, sports fans, and welcome to the Tuesday Night Body Competition. I’m your Host, Cryss. Joining me is my every faithful personality, fifteen year veteran, and Fibromyalgia expert, Chrissie.

Cryss: Good evening, Chrissie. What an exciting evening.

Cryss: Chrissie, you said a Dionne Warwick set of teeth mouthful ( what?). Just about everyone who’s ANYONE is here and they’ve come to play.

Chrissie: Oh, yeah. This has been brewing since Crystal made an unscheduled grocery store run, and didn’t use a scooter (Gasp!).

Cryss: Ruh-roh. In a post grocery interview, I asked if it was a wise decision. Crystal said, emphatically, that she WOULD NOT cower to Fibromyalgia.

Chrissie: Gutsy move, but let’s get to the action.

Tonite, The C.J. Body Parts are taking on the Aspercreme Heating Pads, to see who can hurt, swell, or become detached from its usual place, with the most ferocity vs. I can take it, I’m God’s child, with a prescription.

Cryss: Do you think the backup meds will be a factor, tonite? They’ve been successful before, but have been riding the bench, intermittently, due to non compliance issues. Remains to be seen.

Chrissie: I know the hip is gonna go hard, but the ribs are the wild card, so don’t count them out.

Cryss: Those knees? Now, they’re veterans; they can stay in the patella pocket and cause swelling, or run and slide.
Gotta have double coverage (heat and ice) on the neck, clavicle, and shoulder. They are very talented. The neck can get off the edge, to the shoulder, with quickness like I’ve never seen. Clavicle is just soft. You look at him and he swells AND turns red. He doesn’t play the position with verve.

Chrissie: Indeed, but, the Kankles are pretty reliable. They definitely give different looks: bilateral pitted edema, golf ball look on the side, which really wreaks havoc on the interior cute shoe, and, of course, they shrink, when going to the doctor.

Cryss: We MUST factor in the king-sized heating pad, and the Aspercreme. They’ve added lidocaine to their defense, a veteran loner, out of WALMART State Pharmacy aisle.

Chrissie: The back up, Ultram (Tramadol) has been successful at getting to the nerves, and sacking them. But there’s still the issue of sleep.

This is going to be one heck of a nite! No commercials. Good luck and stay tuned.

Now, the national anthem:

Oh, dang, did you see
How my left knee collapsed,
And I fell to the ground,
Grabbing any thing in sight.

Saw some folks standing there.
They were laughing at me.
Not a one offered help!
Lucky I can’t reach that weave.

And they let me let lay there
With my hands in the air
Which proves I was right
That you folks ain’t worth…

I guess I’d better get up
Be-fo-ore I.I ge-et ro-obbed (high note-hold, do runs)
For li- it-tle I’ve GOT (really high note, then breath)
And I split someone’s
(dramatic pause)
WIGGGGGGGG!🎤🎼🎶

P.S. Can’t take a knee, as I have no meniscus, but love u Kaep.

Fibro Funnies ©2018

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HAPPY NEW YEAR

What are your goals for the new year? Have you started your vision board?

What are the things most important to you? Family, Faith, Politics, Career, Love, Financial Stability?

Drop a note. Let me know what you’re doing, and what changes you’d like to see (personal, professional, political, policy, etc.) in 2018!

One of my goals is to unleash my creativity. No more stifling my imagination. Stay-tuned.

Farewell, Obama 

​So, it’s taken me months to figure what I should say, concerning the end of the Obama Presidency. Nothing in my head. Go figure, a Writer with no words. So, I went to my lover- MUSIC. 

“CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SON

THERE’LL BE PEACE, WHEN YOU ARE DONE

LAY YOUR WEARY HEAD TO REST

DON’T-CHA CRY NO MORE…..”
CARRY ON, YOU WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER, CARRY ON

NOTHING EQUALS THIS MADNESS

NOW, YOUR LIFE’S NO LONGER EMPTY

SURELY HEAVEN WAITS FOR YOU…”

Thank you, Barack Hussein Obama, and family. I remember openly weeping, on the day of your inauguration, and having someone ask me why. Why? Because I saw Jessie Jackson weeping, and knew he was remembering standing two/three feet away, as a bullet ripped through the face and head of Dr. King. I wept because I NEVER thought I’d see it, in my lifetime.  Because, Michelle Obama is not just your wife, mother of your children, and awesome FLOTUS, but A LADY. Our girls need to see those examples. Because of Dr. King, John Lewis, Rev. Ralph Abernathy, Andrew Young, Jessie Jackson, Freedom Fighters, Abolitionists, Harriet Tubman, Frederick Douglass, Thurgood Marshall…. Because of each and every person, who’s name never made the paper, or the news, or the history books. Because we may never see the likes again. 

Because my Mommiekins lived to see it. A Woman who used to have to enter establishments through back doors, if she were allowed in, at all.

I’ve always understood citizenship, intellectually. I’ve cried because of things said, and done to me, because of the color of my skin. Sometimes, it was so subtle, I wasn’t even aware. 

Make no mistake, I’m scrappy, like my Mommiekins. Injustice does not sit well with me, AT ALL. A pen and some paper in my hands….

Back then, my Mommiekins went TO the fight. She began the dialogue. She knew every local government phone number that began with 396 (lol). Mostly alone, she called wrote and didn’t let up until she’d affected change. I often stayed at home wondering why she would risk her health like that. She made me go with her many times, ignoring my ire. Freezing cold, at Annapolis. Downtown, Uptown. Talking to Councilmen and Women. Still didn’t GET IT. She said we elected them, now they have to do their jobs.

I GET IT, MOMMIEKINS. Thank you. It is now, in my heart, and will always manifest itself in my actions. 

That’s why I cried then, that’s why I cry now.

Barack Obama, Carry on, Sir.

“Carry On Wayward Son” – Kansas