I’m In Love ❤️

I don’t usually get super personal, but…. I’m in love.

It’s such a heady and beautiful feeling. I’ve been swept off of my feet. A gift from God, no doubt. Gosh, I’m blushing.

Anyway….

We’ve known each other all our lives. Save for GOD, he’s actually, my first love. A part of my DNA, I suppose. Yet, I let him go. Not all at once, just a drifting of sorts, you know… until there’s nothing.

Life happens, you grow apart, you have different experiences, but you NEVER forget. You just can’t seem to forget.

Those moments that creep up, when you least expect. You think of him, and hairs on the back of your neck stand out, because you’re taken by splendid surprise. Your knees are weak, and you close your eyes, just for a moment. Your senses transport you back to… back there, back then; at that time, in that space. You literally feel, hear, see, and smell EVERYTHING, just like it was.
Then, you put it out of your mind.

Maybe, when it rains, and you remember – droplets landing on your skin, creating perfect rhythms, to which you danced joyously- carelessly. You composed songs no one heard, but the two of you.

Then you put it out of your mind. You have to, right?

Funny thing. When God has a plan for you, it WILL come to fruition.

A visit, or two. Randomly ( no such thing) having to come in contact with one another, for this reason, or that. Chit chat that turns to talk, and then to conversation. Quiet glances turn to meaningful stares. Feeling the past and present collide, and knowing a future was inevitable. Being grateful.

I am most fortunate to have been afforded the opportunity to be joined with my love, once again. I’m never letting go. Where we’ll go together? Well, I’ll leave that to God. For all we’ve done in the past, this is new, and scary, and glorious.
We’re in this for the duration, and I’m happy, again.

Music, I love you.

Invisible Illnesses And Hope

I posted this on FB one year ago, today. I pray it helps someone. Share, comment, vent, if you want. ❤

When you’re awake because the pain in your back, hips, legs and elbow are screaming, in tandem (after your pain meds), and you can’t find a comfortable position sitting, lying or standing. Oh, goody. Losing the feeling in my foot. That’ll stop the pain (there’s always a positive🙏).
It’s times like these, when I begin to think of the persons who’ve said, “Oh, there’s a lady on my job that has ‘that thing’ you’ve got’. What is it, Fibrosis, Famalgia? Well, she seems to make the best of it, though. Hey, we’ve all got aches and pains, but we also have bills to pay, so…”
Then they go on to say, “Why do you put your business out there on Facebook, doing videos? Who needs to see you lying in bed? That’s ridiculous! What is the purpose of it?”(Yes, right to my face, over the phone, etc. )

My Response:
People like you are the reason for the videos. People like you are the reason an UBER PRIVATE person like me, is willing to share. WHY?

A. As I’m writhing in pain, and posting on FB to distract myself, as my lip is already bloody from biting it, WE MUST HAVE HOPE. We MUST believe that this IS NOT not our ever after.Give thanks for every single moment, every single success!

B. Awareness: Raw, this is what it looks like, good, bad and ugly. This is NOT a Lyrica commercial.
The depression/ suicide rate is incredibly high for people with chronic pain, and invisible illnesses, and it’s rarely reported.
We lose jobs, homes, cars, pensions (spent while waiting to be approved for disability); we have to fight for insurance, we have to tirelessly search for medical professionals that don’t think our issues are strictly mental health, e.g. malingering, munchausen syndrome, BPD, MDD, Bipolar, etc., or if we weren’t so “morbidly obese”, we wouldn’t have pain. More often than not, the results are financial, mental, Spiritual, and emotional bankruptcy. Eventually, we become isolated, leading to severe depression. The loss of friend and family support, when you need it most, is terrifying and hurtful, all at once. Many believe, and will say, we’re “exaggerating”, or “you’re still in bed?”, “if you would just try working out, just a little walking”,” you can’t come out for a little while? I’ll come and get you. ” (still gotta get up, shower, dress, come out, etc.) “can’t you at least work part-time?” “Ok, I know you’re not well, but this clutter is ridiculous! ” ” My cousin has it, and she does lots of things…” I’m sincerely happy for your cousin, or that lady on your job, and everyone who manages their disease and/or illness. We’re all different, and experience things based on who we are, and how we are made. MOST times, nowadays, THANK GOD, I manage ok. Flare ups come with the territory of the unpredictable demon, Fibromyalgia. It’s always something you’ve never experienced, and you have to adjust, on the fly, as best you can. Add to it Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Insomnia, Arthritis, and Scoliosis, multiple kidney stones, bruising, Pre-diabetes, and NOW it’s a party. Oh, my migraines have made a comeback, too.
We often have the power of life and death in our words. Speak wisely, or be silent.

C. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Every single time I post or do a video, I cringe. I don’t like anyone knowing any of the aforementioned. I suck it up and do it, because, among other things we sufferers have in common, is the thought that these things “only happen to me”. Unexplained rashes and bruises; severe GI issues; losing teeth; losing hair; poor equilibrium; complete exhaustion after showering, then getting dressed and being to tired to go out, afterward; all over nerve pain, where you can’t have anything, or anyone touch you (Allodynia); new allergies; edema in bizarre places; weakened immune systems, readjusting your ENTIRE WAY OF LIFE……ALONE. But we LOOK fine, right?

I AM ME. My body chemistry is different from anyone else’s. I can tolerate ENORMOUS amounts of pain. Always been that way. That’s why Fibro freaks me out. It’s like your norm is breaking the sound barrier, but this is warp speed × 10. So, if we say can’t do something, go somewhere, or yes, I’m still in bed, that’s it! Don’t need your pity. Rarely ask for help, as we’ve learned the hard way, people want to “Help “in their own way, as opposed to asking what we need. Some ask, praying you’ll say you don’t need anything. Sometimes, we just need to be believed. Maybe hook up, when we are feeling ok, but being aware it can change in no time; not being angry/disappointed if it does. Call, visit and don’t discuss illness, unless I mention it.
I guess I’m done. Like the rotisserie I am, I have to turn, now. I hope u read this, and for some understanding. Wanna share our comment, by all means? Questions? Ask.

I’m weary of reading, and hearing sufferers say, “I CAN’T do this anymore”, or “my spouse left and took the kids because I’m too lazy”. “The doctor doesn’t believe me.” “I can no longer get the pain meds I need because of the ‘opioid crisis’. ” “I can’t afford my copays for specialists, tests, meds, medical equipment. ” “I’ve lost everything and I’m homeless. ”

Prayers for ALL sufferers of auto-immune/ invisible illnesses. NEVER GIVE UP HOPE!

#FibroWarriors #TheBloodStillWorks
#AwarenessSavesLives #NeverLoseHope
#BeatingFibroTogether
#InvisibleIllnessAwareness

Fibro Funnies: Episode 1

Good evening, sports fans, and welcome to the Tuesday Night Body Competition. I’m your Host, Cryss. Joining me is my every faithful personality, fifteen year veteran, and Fibromyalgia expert, Chrissie.

Cryss: Good evening, Chrissie. What an exciting evening.

Cryss: Chrissie, you said a Dionne Warwick set of teeth mouthful ( what?). Just about everyone who’s ANYONE is here and they’ve come to play.

Chrissie: Oh, yeah. This has been brewing since Crystal made an unscheduled grocery store run, and didn’t use a scooter (Gasp!).

Cryss: Ruh-roh. In a post grocery interview, I asked if it was a wise decision. Crystal said, emphatically, that she WOULD NOT cower to Fibromyalgia.

Chrissie: Gutsy move, but let’s get to the action.

Tonite, The C.J. Body Parts are taking on the Aspercreme Heating Pads, to see who can hurt, swell, or become detached from its usual place, with the most ferocity vs. I can take it, I’m God’s child, with a prescription.

Cryss: Do you think the backup meds will be a factor, tonite? They’ve been successful before, but have been riding the bench, intermittently, due to non compliance issues. Remains to be seen.

Chrissie: I know the hip is gonna go hard, but the ribs are the wild card, so don’t count them out.

Cryss: Those knees? Now, they’re veterans; they can stay in the patella pocket and cause swelling, or run and slide.
Gotta have double coverage (heat and ice) on the neck, clavicle, and shoulder. They are very talented. The neck can get off the edge, to the shoulder, with quickness like I’ve never seen. Clavicle is just soft. You look at him and he swells AND turns red. He doesn’t play the position with verve.

Chrissie: Indeed, but, the Kankles are pretty reliable. They definitely give different looks: bilateral pitted edema, golf ball look on the side, which really wreaks havoc on the interior cute shoe, and, of course, they shrink, when going to the doctor.

Cryss: We MUST factor in the king-sized heating pad, and the Aspercreme. They’ve added lidocaine to their defense, a veteran loner, out of WALMART State Pharmacy aisle.

Chrissie: The back up, Ultram (Tramadol) has been successful at getting to the nerves, and sacking them. But there’s still the issue of sleep.

This is going to be one heck of a nite! No commercials. Good luck and stay tuned.

Now, the national anthem:

Oh, dang, did you see
How my left knee collapsed,
And I fell to the ground,
Grabbing any thing in sight.

Saw some folks standing there.
They were laughing at me.
Not a one offered help!
Lucky I can’t reach that weave.

And they let me let lay there
With my hands in the air
Which proves I was right
That you folks ain’t worth…

I guess I’d better get up
Be-fo-ore I.I ge-et ro-obbed (high note-hold, do runs)
For li- it-tle I’ve GOT (really high note, then breath)
And I split someone’s
(dramatic pause)
WIGGGGGGGG!🎤🎼🎶

P.S. Can’t take a knee, as I have no meniscus, but love u Kaep.

Fibro Funnies ©2018

Remembering 9/11: America Can, Should, and WILL Be Great

O

On the anniversary of the terrorist attacks, I keep in remembrance those who lost their lives, on that day, those who subsequently lost their lives, and those whose lives were forever changed. I thank God for every person who cared nothing of race, creed, color, socio-economic status, sexual orientation, or gender, but only of helping their fellow human beings. I’m thankful for the service of EVERY active military person, who risked, and sacrificed their lives, and who did so every day, and to EVERY Veteran. God, please continue to keep us safe, in spite of those who care not that their words and actions put us in grave danger.

Vizionairee-ism:
America CAN be great. America SHOULD be great. When we live, and behave as one people, not only during times of tragedy, but daily, America WILL be great.

#LiveAsOneDaily #Remember
#SacrificeIsTheManifestationOfLove #ThereIsOnlyOneRaceAndItsHuman
#AllWeNeedIsLove
#HatredIsLearned
#StopMakingEnemiesOfOurAllies

Humanity Lost?

Oh, that humanity would return to us.

CollectiveMindz

I am, and have always, had a humanistic view of the world. All humans are basically good. Circumstances, environments, learned abhorrent behaviors, cause us to shift away from our innate goodness. Fixable.

Over the last ten years, my rose-colored glasses have been stepped upon, but they’ve never been destroyed. I repair them. I keep looking for the good, even when I notice the horror.

Over the last five years, I’ve found my glasses have escaped my awareness, at times. I find them, dust them, put them on. I purposely seek the good.
Over the last three years, I’ve had to use duct tape on my rose-colored, war-weary glasses. I put them on and pray to find a snippet of goodness.

Sidebar: I began to wonder where social media, and the inundation of information factored into this negativity. Were we always this EVIL, DECEITFUL, DUPLICITOUS, FOUL, DISMISSIVE, DIVISIVE, DISHONORABLE, HORRIBLE, EVIL…

View original post 161 more words

The “24-hour” Perspective, and The Clock

Much needed reminder. What does time mean for you?

CollectiveMindz

SUPERNATURAL

In my quest to be a better steward over the time that God has seen fit to give me, I cut back on my television time. I wanted to devote more time to reading His Word, communing in that space with Him, hearing from Him.

Even in doing so, I began to feel distracted, unfocused, disconnected, and lost. I was reading, praying, meditating, but not connecting. So restless, and of a useless, frenetic energy. Unproductive. It was driving me bonkers. I found myself wandering through my days, going through the motions, numb. What had I done to unplug myself from God, as He never, ever let’s go of us (see Romans 8:38-39).

NATURAL

I’ve been in pugilist mode with nearly every company from whom I receive tech services. Cell phones burning, apps disappearing, and internet/double billing woes, abound. I’ve literally clocked the equivalent of approximately two months worth of…

View original post 1,110 more words